You don't need to be extraordinary

You don't need to be extraordinary. You don't need to live the most impressive life possible. We have been conditioned to dream bigger and aim for more. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with that, it is important to note that if this does not feel right for you, it does not have to apply to you. As you all know, I don't believe that one path fits all. Not every single person may want their lives to go the exact same way.

As someone who is in the personal development community, both as a teacher and a student, I want to tell you that it is so easy to believe that the way to do it (life? manifestation?? why don't we question what it is?) right is to want more. That surely, you actually have huge ambitions for your life and you want to run some kind of business, you've just been conditioned to think small. And once we clear all that, your ambitions will rise to the top and you will live that billionaire dream life you secretly wanted all along. And listen my love. That IS true for a number of people. There certainly are people who do really want to live a luxurious life and travel the world and be their own boss and employ others and put something out into the world that has meaning and impact. Heck, I am one of those people!

But I think it is also important to acknowledge that is not the ONLY way. Just because this is the path you see most often, does not mean it must also be the path for you.  And you know what? Becoming a business owner and making a billion dollars does not mean that you lived an extraordinary life.

It is also fantastic for you to want a "simple" life. For you to want to have a moderate income, to want to live in a tiny cabin in the woods, or to want to dedicate your life to being a parent or whatever it is that you dream of. That too can be extraordinary and none of these things are lesser or less valid of a dream. As a society (speaking from an American POV), we have been taught to value ambition and to view ambition and drive as something to be deeply admired. And so we have come to view anything that is "not" that as a negative thing. Naturally, we are not going to want to sit in something that makes us feel like we are wrong or "lazy." So we aim to have more "ambition." But in case you need to hear it, you define what ambition is for yourself. No one can define that for you. 

I just want to remind you that it is okay for you to want what you want. It is okay for you not to dream of a mansion and 6 cars and business and world travel and a soulmate and 2.5 kids and luxury. Whatever it is that you desire is valid as it is. I will leave you on this note. Manifestation at its core is about creating the kind of life that you WANT to live. It is about believing that you have the potential to create what it is that you desire. And one of the most crucial steps to manifesting that I believe most people skip is asking yourself, do I really want this or have I been conditioned to want this? Do I only want this because I think it will make others see me in a more positive light? Do I want this because I think it's impressive?

As you are navigating your life, in those moments when you have the space to think, I want you to get in the practice of asking yourself, where is this coming from? Alright, my love and that is all I have for you today. 

Much Love Always

I Don't Know How to Be Vulnerable Anymore

Of all the posts to start with, I am not sure why I want to start with this one. Quite honestly I've been thinking of new blog posts multiple times a month for over 8 months. I've always mentally written them, so to actually sit down and write this post feels a little strange. But I guess that's the point of this. I don't know how to be vulnerable online anymore. And in losing that, I also feel like I've lost my ability to be authentic.

For those of you who don't know me, I built my entire brand around me and my real life. My whole thing was about authenticity and I believed that part of building community and helping others find safety in themselves was finding safety in myself. It was allowing myself to be whole and to show that to others. Even when it was hard or what I was sharing wasn't pretty. Everything that I did centered around the concept that you can be the wholest, most complete expression of yourself and still be worthy and capable of manifesting everything you desire. You are allowed to be completely human and your internal world does not always have to be sunshine and rainbows to be a vibrational match to what you deep down already know is yours.

But part of that authenticity was also being very clear and intentional with my energy. I wanted to lead by example. So, when I started to feel the nudge that I needed to be clear and focused because I was about to have my tower moment, I listened. When I felt pulled towards some of my other passions and felt that initial desire to temporarily step away from coaching, I listened. I would love to tell you that this decision was one hundred percent coming from my intuition. But the truth is, I don't know if it was. I do believe in some ways I was being intuitively guided to my next steps and while I am so happy with the balance I am achieving and the introduction of some new passions, I can't sit here and tell you that fear and ego were not a significant portion of that decision.

Anyway, so I have my tower moment. I fall apart and I allow myself to slowly stitch together this new version of myself (I am still doing this). But somewhere along the way, I became afraid of showing up as authentically as I previously did. And that makes me sad. Because it feels like I went through my tower moment and I was willing to sit in the discomfort. But then I threw up walls around my entire self. Not just my heart, but literally my entire identity. And now I only show others small pieces of myself. I can only show up in pieces online and as you can imagine, that doesn't feel great. Especially as someone who holds authenticity and authentic expression as her top value.

It feels like I am guarding myself away. I feel like no one is allowed to see me in my entirety. I keep trying to show more of myself, but it literally gets hidden away in this fog and I can't even access the parts of me I want to share with others. And that is in such sharp contrast to who I was previously, that it just feels odd and lonely. I want to tear those walls down, but quite honestly, I don't know why they are up in the first place (outside of fear of rejection and fear of danger). 

And so, I guess this is what healing looks like for now. Thank you to every single one of you for being here. I love you more than words can express and I know that one day, you and I will be back to the point where this kind of intimacy, vulnerability, and being seen feels normal and effortless again.

Much Love, Always,

Shar