Finding Inner Peace While Manifesting Your Dream Life

Hello Queen,

Today I want to talk to you more about the biggest pit fall people face when starting the manifestation journey. I know that I definitely fell into this trap, and in true QLQ fashion, I want to share with you more about what happened and what I learned. I shared what happened on the QLQ IG page, and now I want to share with you the most important thing I have learned.

Turning your attention to your darker emotions and beliefs does not give them power. It gives you power to reclaim your life, embrace the fullness of your human experience and remove your emotions from the drivers seat. With this realization I was able to establish a partnership with them. One where I called the shots and fully embraced my emotions as doorways to self awareness. Love, connection and growth. (Of course I’ll share with you how I did so soon 😘) But first, I have to tell you...

Doing the inner work does not mean you will eliminate all you do not like about your human experience.

You will not rid yourself of fear

Of sadness

Of doubt

Of insecurity

Of anger

Of jealousy

And the point isn’t that you get rid of them, but I understand how we are lead to believe this. For so much of our lives we are shamed for feeling and expressing our emotions. Taught that our emotions are weakness. So when we feel them, we are ashamed. And if we are on the path to create our best realities, we are afraid. Because we believe that feeling anything but happiness means that we are doing it wrong. This is a false belief and one that can lead to so much self-sabotage and unnecessary chaos. Holding the belief that I wasn't allowed to feel anything but happiness, gratitude and positivity if I wanted to live my best life was my biggest pitfall. And it is a trap that so many of us fall into.

This was further perpetuated when I entered the personal growth world and saw how many people preached positivity and high vibration. Now, let me make it clear that I don’t disagree. You create your reality and if you want a beautiful reality you must be willing to choose and believe in beautiful things.

But you don’t have to sacrifice your emotions and the complexity of your humanity to do so. In fact, I think trying to eliminate the more difficult part of your humanity is a form of self-sabotage 🤷🏽‍♀️

So, instead,  I want to re-frame with you and disrupt the narrative that you will ever reach a point where the only thing you will feel is happiness, gratitude and confidence. My queen, that is not the end goal. I have been in the personal development world for eight years and I have grown so much. I love my self on a level that I never could have imagined I could reach. I am confident in myself, my desires, my faith and my ability to create a beautiful reality and help others do the same. I feel happy, peaceful, aligned and connected with the infinite abundance of the world.

And I have days where I feel so insecure I can't even look at people. I have days where I am overcome with a deep sadness and severe doubt in my abilities. I have days where I am angry and resentful and so desperately wish to have everything I desire.

I still hear the voice of my inner critic saying I'm not good enough. That i'm being foolish. That I don't deserve what I want. The voice that says no one likes you and people are judging you. I feel the full spectrum of my emotions and I have not eliminated that voice within me.

And that's the secret. No one ever completely gets rid of this voice. No one ever completely turns of their feelings. Even your favorite coaches and mentors have difficult days, yet they continue to live their best life. Your humanity is not a hindrance to your success. You don't need to run from or hide from your emotions and the full range of your darkness. It's okay if you still have hard days. It's okay if you still feel insecure. These things can exist in the same space as your joy and love and gratitude and beautiful life.

I don't think we ever reach a point where we can silence those voices or rid ourselves of the emotions that hurt the most. But I know that we can reach a point where we no longer believe they say anything about our character. I do believe we can reach a point where we can accept them as part of our experience and leverage them to deepen our connection. And I believe we can reach a point where they no longer prevent us from pursuing what we truly desire.

And I know this is true because this is the point that I have reached in my life. No longer running from my emotions or fearing a drop in a vibration. Secure in the fact that I am always whole and loved even when I am in turmoil. And this is truly the root of the peace, security and happiness I now define as my emotional home. I want to share with you exactly how I did this and how I was able to cultivate a meaningful partnership with all aspects of myself. I will be sharing this with my QLQ email community. Join the community for your access to this information.

For now, I want to leave you with this, Queen. You are a beautifully complex being. Your emotions are here to serve you and that inner critic can serve as a doorway for growth as she speaks from your deepest pain. You can reach a point of balance and wholeness with all of you. Yes, it is important to mindfully choose the things that bring you happiness and peace, but always know that making that choice does not mean you numb and shun all else.

Much Love, Always,

Shar

Understanding the CHAOS before the Up Level

Good Morning my Beautiful Queen,

Happy Tuesday and welcome back to another episode of Shar's selfish time. At the moment, I am feeling so much more drawn to my social media accounts, which means that I have been posting less on here. That is okay! If you're ever wondering where I'm at or where I am posting, hop on over to the QLQ IG account, because that's where you will find me sharing what is on my heart.

But I love all of my queens and I just want to catch you up on what's been going on. Number one is that I am stepping into the best version of myself and going through my third or fourth up level of the year. The growth is real and beautiful and I am so fucking grateful to see the progress I am making in all levels of my life. Of course, I'm going to be honest with you. I find that right before the up level comes the storm.

I consider this storm to be a combination of a couple of things. One I think ego realizes that everything is about to change and tries to keep you safe by deterring you from the change you are seeking out and actively creating. Two, I think your higher self nudges you to grow by removing all that does not serve you and making you a bit uncomfortable to ground you into your decisions. And three, I think your ego, higher self and subconscious mind come together and actively create space for what you are calling in by removing all that no longer aligns with this new version of me.

In my most recent up level this has come up in the form of my relationship with money. To be honest and open, the next version of me is very financially sound and has an incredibly healthy relationship with money. That is not my current reality, but step one is always recognition and accountability. Knowing that my current reality is in my control and having a clear vision for my future makes it so much easier for me to work through and heal my relationship with money so I can step into that version of myself.

And of course, I experience a bit of chaos. But the beautiful thing is that after you have been doing this work for a while you reach a point where you are confident navigating the chaos and okay with not being okay. Because in the end, you know that you will always come back home to yourself and have so much faith in your own strength and ability.

So, I am going to leave you with this question. Where can you be more intentional?

Much Love, Always,

Shar

How to Release Subconscious Resistance and Clear your manifestation Blocks

Good Morning my beautiful Queen,

A happy Friday to you all. Can you believe that we are in the final quarter of 2019? It's absolutely amazing.

Today I want to talk to you about internal resistance and how this can manifest in your external reality. More specifically I want to talk about what happens when you declare a desire and the other parts of you don't agree.

It;s no secret that there are multiple realms of self. You are a human with a lot of complexity. Part of that complexity is your ego, your intuition, your subconscious mind, your conscious mind and your higher self. And getting all of these aspects of your self in harmony can take some serious work. These aspects of self clashing, can also be a source of resistance both in your internal world and your external reality.

If you are reading this, you are also a queen on the path to better herself, her life and live the life you know you are meant to live. I honor you here. I learned from one of my mentors, Lauren Eliz Love, that your values and your beliefs and desires can clash. And when they clash, you'll encounter resistance.

In my own life I have found this to be true. You encounter resistance in a multitude of ways including self-sabotaging behavior. And of course, I'm going to provide you with a real world example. Okay.

Over the summer, I realized that I was really lacking confidence in myself and my ability. In a lot of ways, I was outwardly confident. But internally I questioned if I was worthy, why I was on earth and if I even deserved what I wanted (love and connection with others, a successful business and a rich network of people who inspired me). I had a serious confidence issue, but I didn't understand why.

Then I was on the bus to New York City because I was attending a networking event. And networking events is where I feel my most insecure. In that moment something came to me. I set the intention to be confident that night and to be willing to talk to others and shine my light. Then a little voice asked, what does being confident mean?

The first thing that came to me was that confidence means not caring what other people think. And that immediately felt gross. And it felt gross because one of my core values is compassion, which includes caring about what other people think. Of course I didn't feel confident! It wasn't safe for me to be so because subconsciously I had adapted the belief that being confident meant I had to be cold and had to stop caring about others. When it comes down to it, if your mind perceives that something you desire is in conflict with your values and your subconscious mind, then you are going to self-sabotage and create resistance.

I had to redefine confidence in a way that aligned with my values. I also had to rewrite the story of my subconscious mind that said being confident meant being cold. If you are encountering resistance in one of your manifestations, I want you to take yourself through the following exercise.

1. Write down what you desire
2. list everything that comes up for you when you think about that desire. What does what you want feel like? What do you believe it will take for you to get what you desire?
3. Reflect: Does what you think it will take to get you what you want conflict with any of your values? For example if my goal is to get into a fitness routine, but I think I will have to give up self-care time to do so, I would be more reluctant to get into a fitness routine.

I've shared with you how this has worked for me. I would love to see you sharing your breakthroughs or you doing this exercise. Just tag @quarter.life.queens and I will see it!

And if you want to learn more about how to use manifestation and self-awareness to redesign your life, then please join us in the QLQ email community.

Much Love, Always,

Shar

An Honest Post on a "Failed" Project: Why You Can't Do All the Things

Hello Queen,

Happy Monday and welcome to the first week in September. As I write this post I am working on taking control back from my shadow self. For me, shadow is shame. It's a difficult thing to work through but there are a lot of beautiful lessons and reminders I can take away from this, and I am choosing to focus on that.

So, today on the QLQ IG, released a post about how there is no one magical ingredient to your success. All of this was written with the intent to remind you that you are the key to your success and you don't need to show up in all of the places and do all the things to succeed. I do encourage you to read the post as it will help make this post a lot clearer.

But today I want to share with you how I really learned this. Now, your girl has a 8 life path number. That means a lot of things, but in this context, it's a reminder that your girl can be stubborn and can be the kind of person who needs to live it in order to learn.

I heard a lot from my mentors that I shouldn't try to do all the things. Throwing spaghetti at the wall is not how you grow a business. But again, your girl is stubborn. But beyond that, I also held a limiting belief that said I wasn't enough and in order to be enough I had to learn just one more thing. What this resulted in was me trying all the things and always believing that it was because I wasn't doing this one thing, that I wasn't succeeding. Obviously this is self-sabotaging behavior and I have healed through most of that--remember healing is a journey.

But this most recently presented itself in my life in the form of a Facebook group. I heard that if you wanted to succeed, you needed to have a FB group. That it was a great way to build community. That facebook now prefers group and that it is a good way to grow your email list. Now, don't get me wrong. All of these things are true, but I didn't stop to ask myself if this was something that I really wanted to do.

Yes, I wanted a space where all my queens could connect and where I could have conversations with you all in real time. I was also craving community and this seemed like a wonderful way to do it. But when it really came down to it, I truly saw this as another way I could grow QLQ and nurture you all. In reality, I was satisfied with chatting with you all on Instagram (you are always free to DM me on there or reply to my stories or posts). And when I sat with myself, dropped the shame and really questioned it, I realized that I had no desire to moderate or run a group. I could create community in other ways. I was just starting a group because it felt like something I had to do.

And that's not to say that I will never grow a group, or that you can't join the group if you wanted to connect with each other. Just that currently, this isn't a priority for me, and I am learning to allow that to be okay.

I learned through my own experiences that you can't do all the things. This is still a hard pill to swallow, but I am learning to accept it. And I share this with you as a reminder that you are not missing anything to be successful. You are the magical key to your success. Transform yourself and you will transform your life.

Much Love, Always,

Shar