Hello Queen,
Happy Tuesday and New Years Eve!. This week I am honoring myself by doing what it is that I truly want to do. And that does mean that I want to spend a few days on my own. Admittedly there is some shame around this as I do love my family, and I feel like electing not to spend a few days with them during the holiday season somehow negates my love for them.
The mind is a funny thing. I know that consciously choosing myself for an amount of time does not mean that I love my family any less. It doesn't make me cold, it just means that I needed some time to care for myself. This is especially important as an empath.
And I am sharing this with you all as a preface to this blog post, because I know that we all don't come from 100 percent loving, caring homes. For some of us, coming home also means leaving home. It means taking the stress with the love. And for those of us who feel obligated to return home for the holidays, I want to remind you that it is okay to choose yourself. Even as your ego throws shame at you.
But that is not what today's post is about. Today's post is about what I am doing in the time I have gifted myself. In summary, I am engaging in a lot of practices and just experimenting with releasing any resistance that may still be present as I enter this next decade. I know that the version of me who enters 2020 steps it up and really provides for her queens. So, I am stepping up in preparation for that.
15 Journal Prompts to make 2020 your best year yet
You already know that your girl does everything from a place of flow. So, all I have been doing is following my intuitive nudges. And one of those nudges was to block time. See, I already believe that time is an illusion. Everything is happening all at once and your perception of time is how much you are allowing or constricting your natural flow of abundance.
I took it one step further. I said if time is an illusion, then I am going to block anything that tells me the time. All clocks, all watches, the time on my tv. Everything I whited out and purposely ignored what I could not white out. This is what I learned from my practice.
Measuring time provides a sense of control. A way to control both your external reality, and also yourself. What I found was that when I blocked time, I also had to surrender to myself.
From the moment I woke up on Saturday, my instinct was to look at the time to determine whether or not that was a good time to wake up. Before this, I didn't realize how much I checked the clock to determine whether or not I was tired. That was abundantly clear to me when I woke up naturally on Saturday and checked to see whether or not I had 8 hours of sleep and could wake up, or whether I should make myself go back to sleep, because it was "too early." Like girl. I wasn't tired and I was checking to see whether or not I was allowed to be tired. I had to surrender to my own natural clock.
Then every task after that illuminated to me how much I relied on time. Before this experiment I would eat at noon just because it was noon, and not because I was actually hungry. This practice in surrender forced me to eat intuitively and realize, I'm usually not that hungry!
If I was working on something, I couldn't say to myself I'll do this for a few hours, because I had no idea of measuring how much time had passed. So I had to trust myself to stop when I was tired of working on something. I thought I was really good at flow before I realized just how much I forced myself to do because I set some arbitrary measure of time.
I am still working on processing all of this, but one thing is for sure. The lessons I have learned from this experiment will stay with me. Because what I learned for sure is how to listen to myself when it comes to moving through my day. Not listening to the clock.
This was truly an eye opening experience that brought me a lot closer to my true self. If you choose to do it (it was incredible, and trippy, and wonderful and anxiety inducing all at once), tag me on Instagram as I would love to celebrate you and hear your experience! My handle is @quarter.life.queens
That's all I have for you today, queens!
Much Love, Always,
Shar
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Friday, December 27, 2019
The One Belief That Completely Blocks Your Flow of Abundance
Hello My Beautiful Queen,
I imagine that I am posting this sometime around the new year! So happy almost new decade. I hope you have been working on yourself in preparation for the new decade, because, queen, it is going to be amazing. I know I have been holding onto quite a bit of resistance, and the past few days alone have been so eye opening. Which is what I want to talk to you about.
Resistance can often be found in thoughts and vibration that do not align with your divine truth. The worst something you think or believe feels, the further it is from the truth. I want to be honest with you all and say that a belief I have been holding onto is that life is hard for me. I fully believed that other people could have very easy lives, but when it came to things I wanted, I felt like they were going to be difficult for me.
That came from my childhood. My mom was a single mom of three kids who worked for minimum wage. It seemed like her mantra was that's just the way life is, or life isn't easy. So of course, I picked that up. But there were other things to, hearing that the sacrifice I would have to make to live is to work. That I couldn't have everything I wanted. That I wasn't just allowed to be free all of the time and my freedom would come only after work, on the weekends and when I retired. Even child me was like, the fuck? Little me was also very sassy and confidently said just because that's how your life is, doesn't mean that's how my life is going to be.
What fucking sense does that make? That is not an equal vibrational exchange, and in the words of Ariana Grande, "Ain't got enough money to pay me respect." By which I mean there is not enough money in this world to make me work 45+ years in exchange or 15 years of mediocre freedom. Your girl woke up and she is not available for that kind of exchange anymore. And if you are reading this queen, then neither are you.
But I digress. Because even though young me was very aware that I could choose a different kind of life, I moved through my life and was conditioned. A belief is a thought you think over and over again. Combine a decade and a half of hearing life is hard and requires sacrifice, plus a very efficient brain looking for evidence to back that belief, and you have a version of yourself that believes life is difficult.
But my queen, I am here to shake you the fuck out of that belief because it is not serving you! I know you are sitting here with a list of a million things proving how your life is difficult or has been difficult. I know, because I did the same thing. But holding onto this belief DOES NOT HELP YOU. It just doesn't. What you believe and expect creates the reality around you. Your past does not inform your future! It doesn't unless you choose to believe that it does. And why the heck would you choose to believe that? That's like shooting yourself in the foot.
If you expect things to be difficult, if you expect things to fall through, if you expect bad things to happen, then they will! Simply because your brain is now looking for it. And what you seek you shall find.
I want you to sit and ask yourself how does it feel to believe that life is hard for you? Does it feel good? Does it feel light? Does it fill you with joy and peace? No? Then it is not true! It is not in vibrational alignment with your highest truth and it does not serve your greatest good to hold onto the belief. Furthermore, it is not even your belief. This is your conditioning passed on by others and their own limiting beliefs. Don't let people shit in your vibrational space. No bueno.
Yes, I am aware that I am very passionate about this, but its because I know just how much harm this belief can have. From making it so you struggle with your bills, to being unable to call in what you desire, to creating shitty experiences, to loosing opportunities. It's hard pill to swallow, but when you believe that life is hard, you only make life hard for yourself. You cut off your flow to abundance because you literally create resistance in everything you try to create or call in.
I could go on about this forever, but I'm going to stop here and leave with you this question. Holding on to the belief that life is difficult for you is self-sabotage in its highest forms. But you simply would not hold onto a belief if it did not serve you in some way. When I first encountered this belief, realized that the way this belief served me was by providing a sense of accomplishment and strength by overcoming obstacles. At the time, I was not aware enough to realize that I was the one putting the obstacles in my way in the first place. Because I create my own reality. In order to release this belief, I had to address the real issue. Removing the ties between my worthiness and my ability to overcome.
So, the question I leave you with is this. How does holding on to the belief that life is difficult serving you?
Much Love, Always,
Shar
I imagine that I am posting this sometime around the new year! So happy almost new decade. I hope you have been working on yourself in preparation for the new decade, because, queen, it is going to be amazing. I know I have been holding onto quite a bit of resistance, and the past few days alone have been so eye opening. Which is what I want to talk to you about.
Resistance can often be found in thoughts and vibration that do not align with your divine truth. The worst something you think or believe feels, the further it is from the truth. I want to be honest with you all and say that a belief I have been holding onto is that life is hard for me. I fully believed that other people could have very easy lives, but when it came to things I wanted, I felt like they were going to be difficult for me.
That came from my childhood. My mom was a single mom of three kids who worked for minimum wage. It seemed like her mantra was that's just the way life is, or life isn't easy. So of course, I picked that up. But there were other things to, hearing that the sacrifice I would have to make to live is to work. That I couldn't have everything I wanted. That I wasn't just allowed to be free all of the time and my freedom would come only after work, on the weekends and when I retired. Even child me was like, the fuck? Little me was also very sassy and confidently said just because that's how your life is, doesn't mean that's how my life is going to be.
What fucking sense does that make? That is not an equal vibrational exchange, and in the words of Ariana Grande, "Ain't got enough money to pay me respect." By which I mean there is not enough money in this world to make me work 45+ years in exchange or 15 years of mediocre freedom. Your girl woke up and she is not available for that kind of exchange anymore. And if you are reading this queen, then neither are you.
But I digress. Because even though young me was very aware that I could choose a different kind of life, I moved through my life and was conditioned. A belief is a thought you think over and over again. Combine a decade and a half of hearing life is hard and requires sacrifice, plus a very efficient brain looking for evidence to back that belief, and you have a version of yourself that believes life is difficult.
But my queen, I am here to shake you the fuck out of that belief because it is not serving you! I know you are sitting here with a list of a million things proving how your life is difficult or has been difficult. I know, because I did the same thing. But holding onto this belief DOES NOT HELP YOU. It just doesn't. What you believe and expect creates the reality around you. Your past does not inform your future! It doesn't unless you choose to believe that it does. And why the heck would you choose to believe that? That's like shooting yourself in the foot.
If you expect things to be difficult, if you expect things to fall through, if you expect bad things to happen, then they will! Simply because your brain is now looking for it. And what you seek you shall find.
I want you to sit and ask yourself how does it feel to believe that life is hard for you? Does it feel good? Does it feel light? Does it fill you with joy and peace? No? Then it is not true! It is not in vibrational alignment with your highest truth and it does not serve your greatest good to hold onto the belief. Furthermore, it is not even your belief. This is your conditioning passed on by others and their own limiting beliefs. Don't let people shit in your vibrational space. No bueno.
Yes, I am aware that I am very passionate about this, but its because I know just how much harm this belief can have. From making it so you struggle with your bills, to being unable to call in what you desire, to creating shitty experiences, to loosing opportunities. It's hard pill to swallow, but when you believe that life is hard, you only make life hard for yourself. You cut off your flow to abundance because you literally create resistance in everything you try to create or call in.
I could go on about this forever, but I'm going to stop here and leave with you this question. Holding on to the belief that life is difficult for you is self-sabotage in its highest forms. But you simply would not hold onto a belief if it did not serve you in some way. When I first encountered this belief, realized that the way this belief served me was by providing a sense of accomplishment and strength by overcoming obstacles. At the time, I was not aware enough to realize that I was the one putting the obstacles in my way in the first place. Because I create my own reality. In order to release this belief, I had to address the real issue. Removing the ties between my worthiness and my ability to overcome.
So, the question I leave you with is this. How does holding on to the belief that life is difficult serving you?
Much Love, Always,
Shar
Friday, December 20, 2019
Play In The Energy of Your Manifestations
Hello My Beautiful Queen!
Happy Friday. I have to say that this is also an amazing Friday because it is the last day before our winter break. This means that I get a full 2 weeks of paid time off to play in the energy of success. What does that mean for me? It means going all in with Quarter-Life Queens and feeling out what it would be like to work full time as a coach and the founder of this amazing brand. It's also a time for me to dive deep into my spiritual practice.
Speaking of feelings, I want to talk to you about manifestation today, because I know so many of us are calling in nothing less than greatness and magic for 2020. The new year symbolizes a new beginning and a chance for you to choose again. I encourage you to make 2020 the year you choose yourself. If not now, then when.
In preparation for that, I have been focusing on my evolution and really listening to what my higher self has to say. And it is clear to me that it is time to expand my consciousness and strengthen my faith. I would love if you would join me on my journey.
Something that I am calling in for the end of 2020 is a massive celebration and spiritual retreat with my soul friends. I imagine something in a fancy (but rustic) resort with music and dancing and games. I imagine stargazing, and sitting by a bonfire, and dancing through gardens without a care in the world. Essentially, I want an epic retreat full of so much love, gratitude and just absolute joy.
Now remember, Queen, it's not about the thing you are manifesting, it is about the feeling it gives you. Like if I gave you a plane ticket to Fiji right now but told you you could never use it, that ticket immediately loses all of its value. Simply because it no longer grants you the experience and the ability to enjoy it.
So, what's the fastest way to manifest right now? It's to play in the feelings of having your manifestation right now. PS Queen, that is also how you detach from the outcome. Ask yourself how it feels to have what you want. Connect into those feelings, then ask yourself what makes you feel that way right now, then go do it!
Of course, I'm going to tell you how I am currently doing this, but you do what feels good to you. This is is just some guidance, if you will.
Okay, so you know your girl is on a beach, having a good time with her friends just laughing and loving. The version of me who is on this trip feels confident, sexy, grateful, powerful, connected and full of love. The best thing I can do for myself is give myself permission to feel those things right now.
I am doing that by dancing to what I consider to be beachy music. I've been listening to ocean sounds and sitting in the sun. I've been visualizing and dancing around my apartment imagining that I am already at the parties. I've been taking warm baths and wearing silky bathrobes. I've been talking to more people and looking for reasons to celebrate.
And what you will notice is that none of this things require money. None of these things require me to do things that are not yet aligned with my reality. In fact, they are all really small steps, but they bring the exact same feelings. I can't emphasize this enough, but give yourself permission to have fun! To just enjoy the feelings and the activities that evoke the emotions within you. Don't approach this as if it is some sort of ritual to bring your manifestations with you. What you are practicing is detachment and fun.
When you give yourself permission to have fun with the feelings, what you communicate with your vibration is that you believe the thing you desire is already yours. And so, the Univese will respond.
So, for the last week and a half of 2019, I challenge all of you to go out there and enjoy yourselves. Give yourself permission to have fun.
What are you calling in 2020?
PS Queen, I am providing you with a free coaching call! Make sure to reserve your spot before the new year.
Much Love, Always,
Best,
Sharlene
Happy Friday. I have to say that this is also an amazing Friday because it is the last day before our winter break. This means that I get a full 2 weeks of paid time off to play in the energy of success. What does that mean for me? It means going all in with Quarter-Life Queens and feeling out what it would be like to work full time as a coach and the founder of this amazing brand. It's also a time for me to dive deep into my spiritual practice.
Speaking of feelings, I want to talk to you about manifestation today, because I know so many of us are calling in nothing less than greatness and magic for 2020. The new year symbolizes a new beginning and a chance for you to choose again. I encourage you to make 2020 the year you choose yourself. If not now, then when.
In preparation for that, I have been focusing on my evolution and really listening to what my higher self has to say. And it is clear to me that it is time to expand my consciousness and strengthen my faith. I would love if you would join me on my journey.
Something that I am calling in for the end of 2020 is a massive celebration and spiritual retreat with my soul friends. I imagine something in a fancy (but rustic) resort with music and dancing and games. I imagine stargazing, and sitting by a bonfire, and dancing through gardens without a care in the world. Essentially, I want an epic retreat full of so much love, gratitude and just absolute joy.
Now remember, Queen, it's not about the thing you are manifesting, it is about the feeling it gives you. Like if I gave you a plane ticket to Fiji right now but told you you could never use it, that ticket immediately loses all of its value. Simply because it no longer grants you the experience and the ability to enjoy it.
So, what's the fastest way to manifest right now? It's to play in the feelings of having your manifestation right now. PS Queen, that is also how you detach from the outcome. Ask yourself how it feels to have what you want. Connect into those feelings, then ask yourself what makes you feel that way right now, then go do it!
Of course, I'm going to tell you how I am currently doing this, but you do what feels good to you. This is is just some guidance, if you will.
Okay, so you know your girl is on a beach, having a good time with her friends just laughing and loving. The version of me who is on this trip feels confident, sexy, grateful, powerful, connected and full of love. The best thing I can do for myself is give myself permission to feel those things right now.
I am doing that by dancing to what I consider to be beachy music. I've been listening to ocean sounds and sitting in the sun. I've been visualizing and dancing around my apartment imagining that I am already at the parties. I've been taking warm baths and wearing silky bathrobes. I've been talking to more people and looking for reasons to celebrate.
 |
| Your brain thinks in images ;) give it something to picture |
And what you will notice is that none of this things require money. None of these things require me to do things that are not yet aligned with my reality. In fact, they are all really small steps, but they bring the exact same feelings. I can't emphasize this enough, but give yourself permission to have fun! To just enjoy the feelings and the activities that evoke the emotions within you. Don't approach this as if it is some sort of ritual to bring your manifestations with you. What you are practicing is detachment and fun.
When you give yourself permission to have fun with the feelings, what you communicate with your vibration is that you believe the thing you desire is already yours. And so, the Univese will respond.
So, for the last week and a half of 2019, I challenge all of you to go out there and enjoy yourselves. Give yourself permission to have fun.
What are you calling in 2020?
PS Queen, I am providing you with a free coaching call! Make sure to reserve your spot before the new year.
Much Love, Always,
Best,
Sharlene
Friday, December 13, 2019
Fear or Intuition?
Hello My beautiful queen!
The first thing I want to tell you is that life is always happening for you. I can’t promise you that the decisions you make will always work out in the ways that you can expect. But I can say that the decisions you make are part of your journey and can only bring your closer to the fulfillment of your desires—even if it is not clear to you how it is doing so.
I mean, I made the decision to go to grad school and collect 100,000 dollars in debt. I made the decision to renew my lease in my old apartment with no promise of a job. And well, if you’ve been around for a while, you will know that those decisions lead to my accounts falling into collections, and being locked into a lease for an apartment that I could no longer afford. But this is also the birthplace of quarter-life queens. It is the true birth place of my personal growth, spiritual development and decision to live the life that I wanted to live. I’m going to suggest here that you go read the post about intuition before you continue with this post because it’s going to help you begin to have that mindset shift around making the “wrong decision”. Spoiler alert, I don’t believe you can be burned by your intuition.
So, in the last post, I spoke to you about the decision I made in my life to quit my job and go all in with Quarter-Life Queens. It was a scary decision, and anytime you are making a scary, life altering decision that doesn’t make sense to the people around you, your ego will scream at you. In those times it can be so easy to beat yourself up and to believe the stories of your ego. It can be easy to believe that you are ruining your life and can’t be trusted to make your own decisions. If you want to know the way I know a decision is the “right” one, I encourage you to read that post.
But in this post, I’m going to explain how I distinguish between fear and intuition. If you’ve been in the QLQ space for any amount of time, then this answer won’t surprise you. I trust my emotional responses. I believe emotions serve as your guidance system. If something doesn’t feel good, it either isn’t meant for you, it isn’t the truth, or you haven’t grown into it yet. I’m going to share with you how I know the difference.
1. Where is the fear response coming from?
When you are at the precipice of a decision, it can be easy to conflate the fear you are feeling with the decision you are making. It’s important to slow down here and examine what the fear is truly a response to. The decision or the story about what the decision means?
When I decided to quit my job, I had a lot of fear. And earlier version of me believed that the fear meant I shouldn’t quit. It meant that it was the wrong thing to do because it didn’t feel good.
Thankfully, I have come far along enough in my journey to recognize the truth. The fear was not coming from the decision, it was coming from the story around the decision.
IE, when I said, I’m quitting my job, I didn’t have a fear response to that. But almost at the same time I thought that, stories were triggered.
The story that said I have bills to pay
The story that said I was being irresponsible
The story that said I would never succeed and I was being stupid
The story that said I would regret this
The fear was linked to these stories. The fear and painful response was not linked to the decision, but rather to the beliefs I had around what it meant to make this kind of decision. When I sat down and really got present, I realized that when I thought “I’m quitting my job, 2020 is the year I work for no one but myself,” at worse my emotional response was neutrality. And at best it was soaring joy at the thought of finally being able to live the freedom life at least in some ways.
2. Admittedly, this isn’t a step. This is more of a footnote that I have to emphasize here. I spent a long time wavering in decisions and not doing things because I convinced myself I wasn’t ready. That it wasn’t meant for me because it didn’t feel good. I was out here trying to live my best life and be my best self. To me that meant being able to do whatever I wanted and not engaging in anything I didn’t want to. But the truth is, anything new that expands your comfort zone isn’t going to feel good.
Again, it is your fear based response to doing that thing that is leading you to that place. It is not the action itself, but rather the story you have around it.
I used to be terrified of going live in my business. Of course, I wasn’t afraid of actually hitting the live button. I was afraid that I would fumble over my words or go blank. I was afraid that I would accidentally say something offensive that I didn’t mean. But even deeper than that, I was afraid of judgment and exclusion. My story was that one live and having just one person dislike me would lead to the complete downfall of my business and therefore the utter destruction of my dreams.
Is this really what would happen? Of course not, but fear is a funny thing. I used the negative feelings I had around this action stop me from doing it. Simply because I had not yet learned to distinguish between bad feelings around doing the thing, and bad feelings around what it means to do the thing.
It took me years of practice to get to the point where I could distinguish the difference, so I say to you, have patience. The action and the story around the action can be so intertwined. Your fear instinct can kick in even before you hear the story. It takes practice and patience. The best thing you can do for yourself is begin to create a safe space for your emotions to tell you their stories. The safer you make the space, the more your emotions will speak to you and the better you will be at distinguishing between your fear and intuition.
I personally use guided meditation to put myself in a visual trance. I believe guided meditation is one of the easiest ways to begin carving out safe mental space for self-expression. Find whatever works for you. I started with Jason Stephenson on YouTube, but now I have my own meditation that I use (coming soon ;) ). But girl, find what feels good and just commit to making space for your whole self.
Much Love, Always,
Shar
The first thing I want to tell you is that life is always happening for you. I can’t promise you that the decisions you make will always work out in the ways that you can expect. But I can say that the decisions you make are part of your journey and can only bring your closer to the fulfillment of your desires—even if it is not clear to you how it is doing so.
I mean, I made the decision to go to grad school and collect 100,000 dollars in debt. I made the decision to renew my lease in my old apartment with no promise of a job. And well, if you’ve been around for a while, you will know that those decisions lead to my accounts falling into collections, and being locked into a lease for an apartment that I could no longer afford. But this is also the birthplace of quarter-life queens. It is the true birth place of my personal growth, spiritual development and decision to live the life that I wanted to live. I’m going to suggest here that you go read the post about intuition before you continue with this post because it’s going to help you begin to have that mindset shift around making the “wrong decision”. Spoiler alert, I don’t believe you can be burned by your intuition.
So, in the last post, I spoke to you about the decision I made in my life to quit my job and go all in with Quarter-Life Queens. It was a scary decision, and anytime you are making a scary, life altering decision that doesn’t make sense to the people around you, your ego will scream at you. In those times it can be so easy to beat yourself up and to believe the stories of your ego. It can be easy to believe that you are ruining your life and can’t be trusted to make your own decisions. If you want to know the way I know a decision is the “right” one, I encourage you to read that post.
But in this post, I’m going to explain how I distinguish between fear and intuition. If you’ve been in the QLQ space for any amount of time, then this answer won’t surprise you. I trust my emotional responses. I believe emotions serve as your guidance system. If something doesn’t feel good, it either isn’t meant for you, it isn’t the truth, or you haven’t grown into it yet. I’m going to share with you how I know the difference.
1. Where is the fear response coming from?
When you are at the precipice of a decision, it can be easy to conflate the fear you are feeling with the decision you are making. It’s important to slow down here and examine what the fear is truly a response to. The decision or the story about what the decision means?
When I decided to quit my job, I had a lot of fear. And earlier version of me believed that the fear meant I shouldn’t quit. It meant that it was the wrong thing to do because it didn’t feel good.
Thankfully, I have come far along enough in my journey to recognize the truth. The fear was not coming from the decision, it was coming from the story around the decision.
IE, when I said, I’m quitting my job, I didn’t have a fear response to that. But almost at the same time I thought that, stories were triggered.
The story that said I have bills to pay
The story that said I was being irresponsible
The story that said I would never succeed and I was being stupid
The story that said I would regret this
The fear was linked to these stories. The fear and painful response was not linked to the decision, but rather to the beliefs I had around what it meant to make this kind of decision. When I sat down and really got present, I realized that when I thought “I’m quitting my job, 2020 is the year I work for no one but myself,” at worse my emotional response was neutrality. And at best it was soaring joy at the thought of finally being able to live the freedom life at least in some ways.
2. Admittedly, this isn’t a step. This is more of a footnote that I have to emphasize here. I spent a long time wavering in decisions and not doing things because I convinced myself I wasn’t ready. That it wasn’t meant for me because it didn’t feel good. I was out here trying to live my best life and be my best self. To me that meant being able to do whatever I wanted and not engaging in anything I didn’t want to. But the truth is, anything new that expands your comfort zone isn’t going to feel good.
Again, it is your fear based response to doing that thing that is leading you to that place. It is not the action itself, but rather the story you have around it.
I used to be terrified of going live in my business. Of course, I wasn’t afraid of actually hitting the live button. I was afraid that I would fumble over my words or go blank. I was afraid that I would accidentally say something offensive that I didn’t mean. But even deeper than that, I was afraid of judgment and exclusion. My story was that one live and having just one person dislike me would lead to the complete downfall of my business and therefore the utter destruction of my dreams.
Is this really what would happen? Of course not, but fear is a funny thing. I used the negative feelings I had around this action stop me from doing it. Simply because I had not yet learned to distinguish between bad feelings around doing the thing, and bad feelings around what it means to do the thing.
It took me years of practice to get to the point where I could distinguish the difference, so I say to you, have patience. The action and the story around the action can be so intertwined. Your fear instinct can kick in even before you hear the story. It takes practice and patience. The best thing you can do for yourself is begin to create a safe space for your emotions to tell you their stories. The safer you make the space, the more your emotions will speak to you and the better you will be at distinguishing between your fear and intuition.
I personally use guided meditation to put myself in a visual trance. I believe guided meditation is one of the easiest ways to begin carving out safe mental space for self-expression. Find whatever works for you. I started with Jason Stephenson on YouTube, but now I have my own meditation that I use (coming soon ;) ). But girl, find what feels good and just commit to making space for your whole self.
Much Love, Always,
Shar
Tuesday, December 10, 2019
How Do You Know It's the Right Decision?
Hello My Beautiful Queens,
Happy! Before we jump into today’s post, I want to hop in to let you know that I now have created space for all of my beautiful queens who wish to work with me. I’ve been feeling such a deep call to connect with all of my amazing queens on a more individual level. So, I am holding space for anyone who feels the call to have a 15-20 minute free coaching call with me. You can sign up, here.
Also, we are on day 2 of the Reclaim Your Reality Challenge! Five days of free coaching where I walk you through my step by step process for transformation. I am live everyday at 7 PM EST, so don't forget to hop over to the QLQ Instagram (@quarter.life.queens) to check it out.
As we transition out of 2019, I have been thinking more and more about spirituality. It feels like as I settled into my “traditional” adult life, I moved further and further away from my spiritual truth and connection. I still had my ties and belief in manifestation, but I moved away from it as I worked to be okay.
Along the way I came to understand and love myself more than I ever thought possible. I grounded into my truth, my source connection and my purpose. As I result, emotional alignment and certainty in myself became like second nature to me. But most powerfully, I stopped being afraid that anything had the power to tear me down. Before, I would go around with walls around my heart because I was afraid that if I felt too much, I would lose myself. I felt like I was a balloon being grounded by a pebble—one strong gust of a wind and I would suddenly be lost and disconnected.
From my time trying to make the “traditional” route (9-5, pay bills, only take vacation if you need it, struggle is normal, you can’t have what you want, be realistic kind of life), I learned a lot about myself. And through that, I learned how to come back home to myself, no matter what the situation.
But if I am being honest, a lot of my emotional and spiritual strength came from fighting the resistance within myself. It came from looking for ways to stay grounded and connected and loved even though I was not living in my truth. I am grateful for this part of my journey and all it has taught me, but if you read my last post, you will know that I am closing the chapter on “traditional” life. I am turning in my resignation at my job—scary decision here.
As I do so, I am re-potting my roots in the manifestation realm. I have been feeling the call for some time to reconnect to source and to abundance. As I move into a completely unfamiliar chapter in my life, I am deep diving into spiritual work. I will share more with you along the way, but I want to leave you with this.
Sometime taking a risk can feel like jumping into scarcity. It can feel like abandoning all the comfort we have known and intentionally choosing struggle. When you jump away from the status quo, your ego will start screaming at you a variety of things: something along the lines of you’re an idiot, or you’re irresponsible, or you’ll never have what you want, or that things won’t work out, or that you’ve just completely ruined your life.
This is not you. This is simply your ego having a bit of a panic because it perceives that you have put yourself in danger. The danger is not real. And the simplest way you can know this for sure, is to listen to your ego’s story and tune into how it feels. When it starts playing that story to you, how do you feel?
I’ll bet that it feels shitty. I personally always feel a tightness in my chest and a lump in my throat. That is my signal that ego is not speaking the truth. If those stories don’t feel good to you, that’s your emotional response detecting a lie.
Trust the part of you that made this life changing decision because you made it from a place of alignment. You made the decision because it is what felt good to you. It is a decision from your higher self, guiding you to your truth. How do I know this? Because it felt good to make the decision.
Sure, fear might have come up, but if you pay attention, you will notice that the fear does not come up when it comes from the actual decision. The fear comes up when it comes to the stories you have around the decision. And that is how you know you are on the right path.
I get that might be a bit hard to grasp, so in the next part of this post, I will share with you all how you can distinguish between fear and your higher self. How can you truly know that you are making the right decision?
Make sure you stay tuned. Until then.
Much Love, Always,
Shar
Happy! Before we jump into today’s post, I want to hop in to let you know that I now have created space for all of my beautiful queens who wish to work with me. I’ve been feeling such a deep call to connect with all of my amazing queens on a more individual level. So, I am holding space for anyone who feels the call to have a 15-20 minute free coaching call with me. You can sign up, here.
Also, we are on day 2 of the Reclaim Your Reality Challenge! Five days of free coaching where I walk you through my step by step process for transformation. I am live everyday at 7 PM EST, so don't forget to hop over to the QLQ Instagram (@quarter.life.queens) to check it out.
As we transition out of 2019, I have been thinking more and more about spirituality. It feels like as I settled into my “traditional” adult life, I moved further and further away from my spiritual truth and connection. I still had my ties and belief in manifestation, but I moved away from it as I worked to be okay.
Along the way I came to understand and love myself more than I ever thought possible. I grounded into my truth, my source connection and my purpose. As I result, emotional alignment and certainty in myself became like second nature to me. But most powerfully, I stopped being afraid that anything had the power to tear me down. Before, I would go around with walls around my heart because I was afraid that if I felt too much, I would lose myself. I felt like I was a balloon being grounded by a pebble—one strong gust of a wind and I would suddenly be lost and disconnected.
From my time trying to make the “traditional” route (9-5, pay bills, only take vacation if you need it, struggle is normal, you can’t have what you want, be realistic kind of life), I learned a lot about myself. And through that, I learned how to come back home to myself, no matter what the situation.
But if I am being honest, a lot of my emotional and spiritual strength came from fighting the resistance within myself. It came from looking for ways to stay grounded and connected and loved even though I was not living in my truth. I am grateful for this part of my journey and all it has taught me, but if you read my last post, you will know that I am closing the chapter on “traditional” life. I am turning in my resignation at my job—scary decision here.
As I do so, I am re-potting my roots in the manifestation realm. I have been feeling the call for some time to reconnect to source and to abundance. As I move into a completely unfamiliar chapter in my life, I am deep diving into spiritual work. I will share more with you along the way, but I want to leave you with this.
Sometime taking a risk can feel like jumping into scarcity. It can feel like abandoning all the comfort we have known and intentionally choosing struggle. When you jump away from the status quo, your ego will start screaming at you a variety of things: something along the lines of you’re an idiot, or you’re irresponsible, or you’ll never have what you want, or that things won’t work out, or that you’ve just completely ruined your life.
This is not you. This is simply your ego having a bit of a panic because it perceives that you have put yourself in danger. The danger is not real. And the simplest way you can know this for sure, is to listen to your ego’s story and tune into how it feels. When it starts playing that story to you, how do you feel?
I’ll bet that it feels shitty. I personally always feel a tightness in my chest and a lump in my throat. That is my signal that ego is not speaking the truth. If those stories don’t feel good to you, that’s your emotional response detecting a lie.
Trust the part of you that made this life changing decision because you made it from a place of alignment. You made the decision because it is what felt good to you. It is a decision from your higher self, guiding you to your truth. How do I know this? Because it felt good to make the decision.
Sure, fear might have come up, but if you pay attention, you will notice that the fear does not come up when it comes from the actual decision. The fear comes up when it comes to the stories you have around the decision. And that is how you know you are on the right path.
I get that might be a bit hard to grasp, so in the next part of this post, I will share with you all how you can distinguish between fear and your higher self. How can you truly know that you are making the right decision?
Make sure you stay tuned. Until then.
Much Love, Always,
Shar
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)