Mental Illness and Entrepreneurship

Hello My Queen,

I hope you are having warm and enjoyable holiday season.

So, today I want to talk to you about something really deep and personal that I have been struggling with. But to help you better understand the story, I want to give you some context.

When I was 16 years old, I was officially diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder(although I was suffering from anxiety and panic attacks way before the official diagnosis). At the same time, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder.

So, while I knew I had anxiety, I was too depressed to really give a shit (full honesty here). What did I care that I had anxiety (even though it sucked), when I was too busy trying to find the will to live? But, after a 9-10 year battle with depression and anxiety, I was able to beat it and come out on the other side (therapy, medication and getting away from situations that stressed me out as well as going away to college really helped).

I haven't been depressed in over 6 years. Like any other human, I have had periods of sadness and sometimes even long stretches of sadness, but I have never returned to that place. Depression was a dark hole in my life, and I am so thankful to be on the other side. I was proud of myself for all the work that I put in to overcome this in my life (I am only speaking to my experience, no one else's).

However, I have had many, many encounters with anxiety. In my junior year of college, my anxiety got so bad that I would have fainting spells, nose bleeds and panic attacks. I had to go back to see a therapist, get accommodations for all of my classes, and even developed obsessive compulsive tendencies and had a couple of brief dissociative episodes. That year, I truly felt like anxiety would fucking kill me. BUT, that was also the year that I began my serious journey in personal development (and here we are almost five years later).

With the support of my therapist, personal development books, and mindset work, I was able to have panic attacks much less frequently and even got down to rarely. I learned to manage my OCD tendencies (to the point where they became almost nonexistent), and learned to be more mindful in my day to day life.

Because I never had depression again, I thought I would never have anxiety at that level again. I learned to believe in the power of my mindset, my coping mechanisms, my support systems and my ability to remain balanced.

However, I have found that anxiety has reared its ugly head in my life more times than I can count. Again and again, I find my heart racing with panic. I can feel panic attacks coming on, freak the fuck out, and just in general feel a nervous energy thrumming through my body.

The shit thing about generalized anxiety (for me) is that it comes on without warning. I can be fine one minute and an absolute panicky mess the next with no noticeable change in my thought patterns, actions or environment. Exactly like it sounds, the anxiety is just general. This is especially frustrating because I am happy. I'm excited about my life. I love my job; I'm learning more about myself; my friends are wonderful; I look forward to the new chapter in my life and overall am just so grateful to be here. I am literally in on one of the best places I have been in my entire life (and I feel that way). Yet, I am often finding myself anxious.

So, where does entrepreneurship come into this? It's not a secret that I have big plans for Quarter-Life queen (and I want you to be a part of it). But sometimes it's really fucking hard to work on projects, or marketing, or tracking or anything when it feels like my heart is about to jump out of my throat. It's not difficult for me to feel the passion behind what I am doing, but it can be really difficult to enjoy the passion when it is competing with the anxious energy. I have tried many ways to move through this, but it just won't go away. This is incredibly frustrating for me, because I believe in the power of mindset, but I haven't been able to shift out of anxiety through mindset work alone (especially because I can't pinpoint a reason why I feel anxious in the first place!).

This leaves me wondering if I am going to be dealing with anxiety for the rest of my fucking life. And that's when I realized that anxiety is a natural emotion. While not everyone has an anxiety disorder, everyone has felt anxiety at some point or another. I am still learning that anxiety is a difficult emotion to feel, but it is okay to feel it. I just hope to one day reach the point where it is no longer at the level of a disorder. And I truly believe that this is possible for me.

I sincerely hope that you enjoyed this vulnerable post, Queen. And please remember, I am only speaking to my experience and nothing in here is meant to generalize what anxiety and depression looks like in others, nor how it can be treated in others.

Until next time, loves.

Small Ways to Reprogram Your Internal Beliefs

Good Morning, Queen,

And a Merry almost Christmas to all who celebrate. If not, happy end of the year. Today, I want to bring you some of the most helpful actions I have taken in my life that has been the biggest factor in my mindset (and subsequently life) shift.

I've already told you all of the podcasts, YouTubers, and balance rituals that I feel make a huge difference in how I am feeling. But, today, let me tell you some of the things that I surround myself with that makes the BIGGEST shift in my mindset. Because you know what, Queen? You don't always feel like committing to your growth and taking massive action to create in your life. Sometimes you are just sad, or just need space to process, or really just need time to socialize with friends. And ultimately, I have found that some of the biggest subconscious changes come from what you expose yourself to on a daily basis. So, without further ado, let me tell you the TWO things I did to make change.

1. A list of how the best version of me lives her life and shows up. Call them affirmations, commandments, rules or whatever. For me, they are just reminders to keep my eye on what I really want and make sure to stay aligned. And of course, I believe in examples, so here is what I look at multiple times a day (I created them by looking at the area of my life that I wanted to improve as well as the limit beliefs I wanted to release)

1. Feel the fear and do it anyway
2. There is always a bright side. Choose happiness
3. Friends and family are important. Give them the time and love they deserve 
4. The world is a beautiful place. Take the time to see it
5. Know thyself. Know that you don't have to be an expert in everything
6. Your body is your host. Treat it well
7. You are a cosmic being having a human experience. Don't be afraid to dream big. 
8. Never apologize for being yourself. You were made exactly as you were meant to be
9. Life is playful experience of exploration. Don' take things so seriously. 

This is only half of my list, but I hope it gives you an idea. Tip: place this within your line of sight as even if you don't consciously look at it, you can begin to subconsciously accept it. 

     2. Set reminders on your phone. Now I don't mean this as time management. I mean like things you want to remember about who you are, what you want to believe and what you are overcoming. And because I find this kind of difficult to explain, I want to give you some examples of the reminders I have on my phone. Note that the last two are affirmations from Kathrin Zenkina's Unleash your inner money babe book (available on Amazon). 

• Be who you are and say what you feel: Be you always 
• Dedicated, happy, kind: How you show up in the world
• I am open and ready to receive all the wealth life offers me
• My actions create constant prosperity 

So you can see these are combinations of identity shifts that I have been making as well as affirmations to shift my limiting beliefs. I like that these come up at certain times everyday because they remind me of who the best version of me is and what it is that I am working towards. 

I hope that you find these tips helpful! If anything, I hope it also shows that mindset change can be a combination of big actions but also small things that don't require your full attention. BONUS! Setting your desktop wallpaper with an affirmation or vision board is also a really great way to reprogram your subconscious mind and stay hella inspired. AND you can access some really high vibe ones for free right on the QLQ freebie page. 

I hope this helps you end 2018 and enter 2019, aligned AF. What little things do you do to feel aligned? I would love to hear more in the comments below. 

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10 Life Lessons from Postgraduate Life

Hello Queen,

I have been feeling some tension within myself lately and I think that is because I have been reflecting on 2018 in preparation for 2019, but refusing to touch the really painful parts of my life after I graduated. For all of my recently graduated or about to graduate queens, I want to have a very vulnerable expression with you about all of the lessons I have learned in life. I think the saying goes experience is the best teacher, but sometimes experience is harsh. So, without further ado, allow me to openly share with you some of the worst experiences that I have had, what they have taught me and how I have grown from it.

1. What you think about yourself makes a huge difference. I spent so much of my life unknowingly (and knowingly) seeking the approval of others. I sought out validation because I subconsciously believed that I needed to prove something. This spanned from getting a bachelor's degree, to getting a master's degree, to traveling the world, to always having a job. I didn't know that I was looking to prove that I was a worthwhile person until I stopped feeling like one. It was when I was looking for my first full-time position that I realized I didn't see myself as a very qualified person (even though I was). So, while I tried to fake confidence, I learned that other people are very intuitive and know when you don't believe in yourself or your abilities. And that was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn while unemployed. 
2. Living as the best version of yourself doesn't mean living outside of your means. You already know that I believe in manifestation. In undergrad, I just always seemed to get what I want without trying very hard. Good grades, the internships, the funds to study abroad twice. Getting to backpack across Europe when I didn't have any money. You get the point. I just trusted that what I was meant to have, I would have. I trusted that the Universe would have my back no matter what I did. If I wanted something or to level up, I just had to act as if. So, when I started buying things and experiences I really wasn't aligned with, I just trusted that the Universe would take care of it. This included a very luxury apartment when I didn't even have job yet. I just trusted that I would find a job that would pay me well enough to continue to live there (because I had a masters degree). If you have been reading this blog for a long time, you will already know how this worked out for me (not well). Let me be clear that I don't think the Universe was punishing me. Instead, I think this was the only way I was willing to listen to the fact that acting as if doesn't mean going into debt or spending all of your money. It means embodying the best version of yourself through your behaviors and beliefs. Not through the things that you have. And trust me queen, when you can't afford rent, you'll really stop caring about those luxury features. 
3. Shoulds are an illusion: I wasn't surprised when anxiety flared up with a vengeance last year. I was struggling to pay my bills and had so much outstanding debt, it wasn't anywhere near funny and many times lead me to stress about accounts going into collections. So, it made sense that I was anxious and stressed out; I was struggling financially. But, once I got my finances together, I found that while I was less stressed, I was still anxious. And well, what self-development taught me was that a lot of the times, the anxiety was being caused by an incongruence between where I wanted my life to be and where it was. It was also caused by measuring my life and path against the life path I felt like I should be on, and comparing where other people were to where I was. What I learned from this is that there is no such thing as a should. We are all on our unique paths and timeline. Timing is everything and things will unfold as and when they are meant to.  
4. Following the "right path" does not guarantee security: I wrote an entire blog post about this, my queen. You can read my whole perspective on this valuable lesson right here. 
5. You are in control of how you react: No matter how much shit was going on in my life, I had to learn not to give my power away. Having a shitty day (or year) did not give me the right to treat other people badly. Beyond that, I also learned that I had the power to decided how I would react to anything. I could choose to be positive and grateful for the blessings I did have instead of focusing on the anxiety and depression over my then current circumstances. This made all of the difference for me and my year. 
6. Stress does shit for you: This one is simple. Often it's the worrying about the situation that is worse than the actual situation. Being stressed out about it won't make you a better thinker, provide better solutions or make the issue go away. Instead, I learned that a better approach was to accept the situation for what it was, embrace the emotions that came with the situation and then trust that it would resolve because I am always on the right path. I learned to find the lesson in everything and trust that it was all for my growth. Once I mastered that, I could sit in the silence and find solutions that would work better, or I was able to accept that there wasn't really a lot I could do. 
7. You are more supported than you think you are: Even in my darkest time, I was able to reach out to people to help me out. I can be very stubborn and prideful and as such, I tended to view asking for help as a weakness. However, what my first year and half of life after college taught me was to humble myself and show compassion to others. Asking for help does not make you weak, and I had such a strong support system that was available to me once I asked for it. 
8. Never take away your own power. My biggest fear was hitting the bottom and wanting to commit suicide. Many people talk about the worst outcome being death, but for me, the worst outcome is wanting to die. For anyone who has ever been suicidal, you will know what a dark and painful place that it is. I was severely depressed for a decade of my life and I can only say that level of pain was so much worse for me than the fear of death. But what the painful end of 2017 and rockiness of 2018 taught me was that I am so much stronger and powerful than I think I am. I can choose not to be the victim of my circumstances and taking my own power away only meant closing myself off to seeing the opportunities and blessings that exist in abundance in my life. 
9. Manage your finances well. This one actually still really hurts. As much as I don't like the idea of planning for emergencies (I think it's negative), the truth is that sometimes shit just happens and it will hurt so much more when you are not prepared. As such, I have taken this year to work on my money mindset and find a better balance between future financial freedom, current fun and paying down debt. 
10. Needing help or not knowing it all doesn't make you a less worthy person cause only you can decide your worth

While there are many more lessons that I have learned, these are the biggest ones. I hope that at the very least this post provides a bit more insight into my year.

Also, I have to tell you that I am releasing a limited edition FREE QLQ magazine exclusively to my Epiphany queens. There is some really great content and articles in that, so if you want access to that magazine, I would highly recommend that you sign up for Epiphany here:) TODAY is the last day to sign up for access to this magazine, as it will be getting sent out tonight. Hope to see you there, Queen!

Until next time.

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End of Year Reflections and 2018 Resolutions

Hello Queen!

It is almost the New Year, so you know what that means? PARTY! While yes, it is time to celebrate, it's also time for me to reflect.

So, while we approach the end of the year, I wanted to reflect on 2018. I started this by looking at the post that I made at the beginning of this year listing out my new years resolutions. I checked in with myself to see how much progress I made. Imagine my disappointment when I realized I didn't accomplish a lot of them. But then, I re framed because I was able to see why.

1. The goals I set were the ones I thought I need to be happy or successful
2. They were way too specific and in general just not things I cared about that much. 

For example, major things on my list were to establish a more peaceful morning routine and a relaxation routine. I wanted this because I was constantly reading how life changing these things can be and how all successful people have this down. I want to be successful, so I set about trying to establish one that worked for me. Here's the obvious thing, Queen. What worked for one person will not always work for another.

What I didn't take into account while working on this was that I actually struggle with obsessive compulsive behavior. While a routine may sound relaxing and structured to some, I found that it only triggered my OCD. A routine became nothing but a to do list and I HAD to cross every single thing off that list (the obsession) or like the world would end, or I would die, or my family would die (the compulsion). Instead of being relaxed, a morning routine or relaxation routine only made me horrifically anxious and on edge. So, I dropped that ish.

That still left me with a list of resolutions that I didn't accomplish, or only half accomplished. And that's when it hit me. Just because I didn't get to "finish" my resolutions, doesn't mean that I didn't accomplish a lot of really amazing shit. So, let me tell you just some of the things I accomplished. Not to brag, but to give you a better example of how we have always accomplished something (even if it wasn't what we set out to accomplish).

1. Launched the Epiphany Email list
2. Got way better at designing marketing materials 
3. Got my debt under control and my accounts back in good standing
4. Paid off my rent for the really expensive apartment that I couldn't afford both debt free and not evicted.
5. Found a new dream apartment even when I was really scared that I couldn't
6. Got a full-time job, a promotion and a raise 
7. My health is the best it has ever been in my entire life (even though I GAINED weight, not lost like I set out to do)

While challenging in some ways, I am proud of all that I accomplished in 2018. I encourage you to create a list of all that you have accomplished in 2018 and not focus so much on the resolutions you made and whether or not you stuck with them. So, what's one thing you accomplished that you are so proud of in 2018? I would love to hear and celebrate you in the comments (or via the Quarter-Life Queen email).

Until next time!

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Who Am I Now?

Hello my Queen,

A happy mid December to you all. I have spent the last week or so working through my journal and trying to understand what is still in my way in 2018. By this I mean, I have been trying to move through the last of my limiting beliefs and rewire my mind. I feel that 2019 will be a year of great success and I want to make sure that I am doing all I can to prepare. I'm also working on some sneaky side projects that I am so excited to share with you all, but they are huge! So, I want to prepare.

Speaking of my queens, could you please take a moment to answer this for me? I have a lot of project ideas in mind, but I want to make sure that I am releasing things that you are interested in and would find most helpful.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/GXV9NS3

In the spirit of reflection and open honesty, I want to tell you a little bit more about me. About this time last year, I did a post telling you 10 random facts about myself. Now, I want to dive a little bit deeper and tell you about me.

1. I have a bachelor's degree in Writing and Counseling and a Master's in Education (not saying that to brag, just want to show a little about of the background in why I do what I do). I couldn't have predicted that this would all come together in a personal development/self-improvement blog, but I am so happy that it did because I adore QLQ and my QLQ community. 
2. From the ages of 10-18 I had Depression and Generalized Anxiety. Through a lot of work, therapy and space I was able to overcome these things and I am so happy to say that I have been in a better head space mentally for over half a decade. 
3. My dream is to travel the world whenever I want. I have been to 14 different countries and actually work in international education. I look forward to the day when I can just stay in a country for however long I want and leave to anywhere whenever I feel like that (yes, I know the privilege in that statement)
4. I am an ambivert, so I tend to swing either from being very outgoing and sociable or needing a lot of time to myself. 
5. Okay, I now this is weird, but I believe in the supernatural. I grew up in a superstitious hispanic family and I just believe in magic, ghosts, residual energy, witches etc... I also like to believe that mythical beings exist and that we all have the power to create our own kind of magic. For me, that manifests through mindset. 

And that's it! Of course, there is a lot more to me than that, but this is what came to me today. As always, I look forward to seeing you next time. 

And please do just take a minute to take my survey. I'm buzzing with creative energy, but your input is so important to me. Thank you in advance, Queen!

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Finding the Silver Lining

Hello my Queens.

A happy week to you all. So, I just want to tell you something that I learned today. You ever just have one of those days that freaking test you? You know what I mean. It seems like there's just shit on top of shit on top of shit to take care of. That is what today felt like. Let me warn you that there is quite a bit of whine before we get to the lesson that I learned, because I like to tell you the things that happened as they played out in my life.

So, I got caught up in a story last night and fell asleep way past my bedtime (I'm taking about 1 am), but of course, I only did this after taking a sleeping pill, so once I was asleep I was knocked the f out and getting up was a bitch. And so starts our day.

1. I get to the train station with only five minutes to spare only to find that the line to purchase a train ticket is longer than it has ever been. I wait but when it's announced that my train is leaving, I have to run for it, only to be harassed by the ticketing person about them PREFERRING that I don't buy a ticket on the train and being told that I should have woken up earlier. To which my only thought was bitch, don't fucking test me right now (yes, not even I am zen all of the time)
2. Then I get to work only to find that there is an issue with one of my students that needs my attention and a lot of effort from me. 
3. Finally, I find that there is a deep issue with my mac and because it is more than three years old, it is considered obsolete and Apple will not look at it. 

At which point my blood was just fucking boiling. I was lost in my feelings and could definitely feel myself fall into victim mode. It didn't help that I was working on a major mindset shift and was feeling exceptionally vulnerable. But then I remembered that no day is black and white. And that is the lesson that I want to bring you all today. Even in really shit days, the day is not entirely shit. There are moments that sparked a bit of happiness. So, let me tell you the silver linings I found in this day that my mind was convinced sucked. 

1. I was able to catch my train right on time. Not only did I catch it, but I got on and the conductor informed me that my ticket was still valid for the hour. So, that meant that I essentially got to ride for free, and that was lit. 
2. While I was upset about my computer, I realized that I had it for a lot longer than I thought I did, which brought me happiness. My computer and I had a good seven years together and it got me through a lot. In that shift, I was able to remember that I work on a college campus and am able to borrow a really nice mac for however long I need. Plus, I always have access to my work laptop. So while I am sad over the end of my computers life, there are still things to be happy about. 
3. I just looked really fucking cute. I was wearing a new dress and my hair was actually styled. I just felt adorable. 
4. It was a sunny and mild day. This meant that I got to go on a walk on my lunch break and enjoy the fresh air. 

So, while this blog post was the epitome of Shar's selfish time, I hope it helped you see how I am able to see the silver lining even when I am having a bad day. Remember, how your day went is all about perspective and what you choose to focus on. 

Until next time. 

Can you be confident and insecure?

Hello my queen,

A beautiful Friday to you all (although I can’t claim that I know for sure that it’s a Friday when you are reading this). I am overall in a really great mood and continue to feel so blessed and aligned with the best version of myself. I encourage you all to celebrate yourself. In general, as women, I feel like we are taught to berate ourselves and strive to be better but not really celebrate ourselves. Perhaps this is influenced by some kind of misguided perception that to celebrate oneself is to be self-indulgent.

But fuck that shit, girl. We are all damn fucking awesome and I want to celebrate (yes, I am drinking coffee while I write this). I do believe in giving real examples, so I hope you will allow me to take this moment to publicly celebrate myself. And if that is not your thing, I lovingly ask you to skip to the next paragraph. So, I have been feeling incredible. I have finally come to a place where I recognize how completely blessed my life is in so many realms. I am filled with immense gratitude for my health, my apartment, my job, health insurance, money, the country I live in, easy access to clean water, a loving family, an amazing team, my degrees and my beautiful friends. I have also come to a place where I am working on solidifying my relationships with people in my life. In addition, I have come to love my body for all that it is (almost). In general, I feel confident, grateful and like it is completely okay to be myself at all times. As cheesy as it is, I’m just happy to be alive and to live so well.

But of course, I’m also confused. Spoiler alert for all of my young queens out there, I feel like your twenties are filled with a lot of damn confusion. Can you be confident and insecure at the exact same time?! Let me tell you what prompted this.

So, in addition to solidifying my connection to the people that are already important to me, I also want to put myself out there and create connections with others as well. The crazy thing is that I have done some kind of switch recently. I’ve always been kind of intimidated to talk to men, and always willing to pursue female friendships (bear in mind that I was also a lot more guarded than I am now). But in March or so of this year, I finally said fuck it and decided to pursue dating.

Several months and dates later, I am a lot more comfortable talking to men and kind of see it as no big deal. BUT I have also found that I’ve become hella intimidated by women. Intimidated is the wrong word. I guess I’ve become shyer around women I don’t know.

So, I asked myself “what even is shyness in my own life and when does it manifest?” The answer was that shyness is the feeling of wanting to hide away or not make connection. And it manifests when I feel concerned that I won’t fit in, or that I won’t be able to make a connection with this person, or that others will think that I am strange. And well, queen, that’s just flat out insecurity.

Can you be confident and insecure at the same time? Yes, because there are many realms in which you must exist and you don’t have to feel comfortable in every single space. And a reminder that none of us are powerless when it comes to this. The way that I will get through this is by taking my power back. Insecurity like any other emotion is trying to tell me something with its presence. I think the saying is what you are afraid others will think about you is really what you think of yourself. And girl, that’s mindset work which you always have control over.

So off I go to work on this and become more aligned with my best self in the realm of new female friendships. As always, I hoped you enjoyed and if you did, could you please share this with other queens? Thank you, loves!

Until next time!

5 Podcasts That Will Make You Feel Like A Badass

Hello Queen!

Welcome back, loves. I am currently getting over a cold and I don't know if it's all the tea and cough drops, but I feel hype AF. I mentioned in an earlier post that I was torn between two worlds. One where I just write about my life as it is and another where I focus on just providing you with high value content that has a concise message. I finally accepted that it does not have to be one or the other, but today I am bringing you with some high value content. 

So, let's get real. We are all human and we go through seasons. Some days we are out and about ready to kick ass; boss mode fully engaged and all that. While at other times, we are just bleh. No one talk to me, I am now one with my blanket, and I am never getting up. These "seasons" are completely natural and there is no shame in indulging in what you are feeling. I believe that our bodies and spirits intuitively know when it is time to work and when it is time to rest. As such, I try to completely trust what I am feeling and just flow with it. Note that I said try as exhibits A and B will show that I am not always successful. 

However, this blog is all about honesty and I have to tell you that I sometimes swing too far into the relaxed mode. Like girl, if you let me I would never get back up. I enjoy being lazy (although I do not consider myself a lazy person) and honestly, who doesn't? Our bodies are designed to fucking rest and waste as little energy as possible. But, what do you do when lazy girl mode is completely engaged and you ain't got time to be lazy? How do you stay motivated when you are still blearily wiping your eyes from your relaxed season? 

Well Queen, first I have to tell you that we are all different and respond to things differently. What works for me, may not work for you. I could go on and on about some different strategies, but today, I just want to focus on what is most effective for me. PODCASTS! Because I am now old AF and podcasts are my fucking jam. So, allow me to shut the hell up and get to the point. Here are the five podcasts that kick my ass into high gear:

1. Manifestation Babe: This is perfect for tapping into your power. If you need a reminder that you are a spiritual being having a human experience and want to know how to manifest the life of your dreams, this is the fucking podcast for you. Kathrin is honestly such a Babe and has gotten me through so much shit. This is the podcast for when you need to tap back into your inner strength. 
2. Unf*ck Your Brain: This a relatively new love for me, but it deserves the podcast for you. This is the podcast to listen to you when you need to boss up. Kara constantly delivers empowering messages with great advice about how to take ownership of your life and podcast. Everything from managing toxic relationships, to asking for more, to boundaries, to insecurity and everything in between. Described as a feminist podcast, this show is all about girl power and handling shit like a boss. If you're ready to uplevel and stop taking shit (from yourself and others), then listen to this. 
3. Style Your Mind: Cara is one of my OG loves. This podcast is the epitome of glamour and confidence. One, I just love the sound of Cara's voice (soothing AF), but two is that Cara is not one of those really hype bosses. Style your mind for me is all about developing self-absurdness and taking action that feels right to you. If the pressure of getting something done is stopping you from taking action, listen to Style Your Mind. 
4. How I Built This: Warning, these podcast episodes are hella long. But trust me Queen, they are worth it. I would say this is more entrepreneurial focused. I listen to this when I feel like I'm an imposter and am questioning why I even do this. If ever you need a reminder that no successful knew what the fuck they were doing, listen to this. For me, every single listen is a time to not only get some really helpful tips for business, but also a reminder that I'm just as qualified as anyone else to pursue my dreams and that it is possible. 
5. Optimal Living Daily: This podcast is a bit different, as it essentially boils down to blog posts and chapters being narrated. One, I like this because I don't usually make time to read in the morning, and two because it's so quick. Nothing on this podcast is ground breaking, but it is just a good way to start your morning and get a quick boost of inspiration or motivation. 
6. BONUS: Millennial Money: My Queen, I must be honest and say that I do not listen to this often. The only reason being that I am still working on my money mindset and the idea of actually addressing my money issues makes me cringe, so I tend to avoid this. BUT, the few episodes that I have listened to this have been very ground breaking. If you need a push to start handling your money well, or to make changes to your money mindset, please give this a listen. 

Well, that's all Queen! If you give any of these podcasts a listen, could you let me know in the comment section below? I would love to hear your thoughts. 

Until next time.

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Mindfulness and The Passage of Time

Hello Queen,

Can you believe that we are almost at December?! Honestly, my mind is blown is that the year is almost over. I feel like I spent a lot of my time just completely out of it.

Like do you have times when you feel like you're disconnected from reality? For me, I find that I reach the end of my day and have no idea what the hell I did that day. Or even I will be doing something in that moment and feel detached. It's like my brain said goodnight and my body is on autopilot.

My brain checking out from reality

When I was younger, I enjoyed the passing of time because I feel like I was so eager to reach a reality where I could do whatever I wanted. Now that I have gotten there and hit my mid twenties, I just find the passing of time really stressful.

It's like all of a sudden there is this pressure on me to figure everything out. Get a husband, climb the work ladder, launch the business, save for the house, get your finances together, focus on your health, don't neglect your friends, don't neglect your family etc... So many expectations that I both place on myself and that are placed on me. All of this adds up to make time just fucking fly and let me be honest here, queen. That shit is fucking scary.

So, I want to talk to you about mindfulness. More specifically the things that work for me and what I have found frustrating/challenging.

1. Take a few minutes a day to have a cup of tea or coffee or water. I recommend tea or coffee because then you can get lost in the process of making it and there are more sensations to focus on. Focus on the feeling of things you are touching, the taste of what you're drinking. The warmth or coolness of the drink. 
2. Second is for those days when you are hella busy at work. You can focus on the sensation of your fingers typing on the keyboard. The pressure you are applying, the feelings on your wrist and forearm. Even the curves and lines of the letters on the keyboard. This is a great way to distract yourself from your work while also doing your work. 
3. Number three is about listening when spending time with friends or family. Try to understand what they are really telling you. Place yourself in their shoes and see if you get the emotions they are conveying. At the same time, focus on the feelings you are experiencing. Are you happy, content, anxious, sad etc.. I find that creating these dimensional memories almost stops time in a way and allows me to be more fully present in the moment. 

Now let's talk about barriers. One being memory. There is only so much space in the mind and I find that I am constantly tossing what I don't use. I like to keep my mind relatively blank and uncluttered so I try not to consciously think of things that have already passed (partially fueled by my terrible fear of triggering anxiety). However, this also means that I am constantly in the moment and that makes time go so much quicker. 

Second is the mind. Girl, it's no secret that your brain is constantly trying to automate everything. Obviously, the more things you can automate, the less you have to think and the more your brain can focus on things likes surviving. However, this makes mindfulness difficult which for me contributes the feeling on being out of touch with reality. 

If anyone out there has anymore mindfulness tips, please send them my way queen. Cause this time shit just became one hell of trip. 

Until next time!