The power of the this really fucking sucks list

Hello Queen,

I want to talk to the queen who is looking around her life and thinking, this can’t be all there is.  Today, I want to talk to the queen who knows that she is meant for so much more. You just know that this isn’t what you’re supposed to do. You can feel it in your bones that you are meant for so much more. But, what exactly does that more look like? What is that you do want and how the heck are you supposed to get there? And what do you do if you really have no idea what that more is and what it looks like? 

This is exactly the way my thoughts looked when I first accepted that the life I was currently living was not the life I was supposed to live. When I first decided that I was meant for more, it was both inspiring and little hard. Inspiring because I knew this was the start of my journey. Hard because it felt like the gap between where I was and where I felt I could be was so wide and I didn’t know how the heck I would get there. PS queen I learned that the how is not your business and you will always be on the right path because you will get the call to do something when you are meant to do it.

So, where do you start when you are completely lost and just know that you are looking for more? Start with taking a look around your life and listing all of the shit that makes you fucking miserable. Your emotions often serve as your compass and are your que of if you are in alignment or not (read more about what it means to be in alignment and how to use your emotions to propel yourself forward). If something feels like complete and utter shit, then babe, it is not in alignment with your highest calling. That’s why it feels like shit. Your spirit knows that you are doing something that is not aligned with the life you are meant to live. It’s your cue that you are living far below your potential and letting your egoic fears run the show.

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, but I don’t want to make this list. Isn’t focusing on all of the things I hate really bad for manifestation? Shouldn’t I be grateful for what I have and focus on that? Yes, queen, you should focus on the positive things and find gratitude. But finding gratitude for what you have doesn’t mean that you are ungrateful for wanting more. In fact, it’s the opposite. You are showing gratitude to the universe by pursuing the desires that were planted in your heart.

And making this list will actually help you with manifestation because it will allow you to release the feelings that these things that fucking suck have trapped in your subconscious mind (where the manifestation begins). AND by giving you clarity on what it is that you really want by following the clues that your emotions have left you. With manifestation the clearer you are, the more tapped in you are and the better you will be at manifesting it. If you want more tips about manifestation, I highly encourage you to sign up for the qlq email list where I give you my best tips about manifestation and creating your dream life.

If you’re just starting your journey and are thinking that you are meant for more, but don’t know what that more looks like, start with the things that you don’t enjoy about your life. In most cases, you want its opposite.

Example from my life when I was first starting my journey

   I hate that I am so scared of money and I’m tired of struggling to pay my bills.

What do I really want?

To be financially free and have a good relationship with money. I want to be able to spend money and enjoy life without worrying about if I can pay rent now. I want financial abundance.

Take a good look at your life and make that list. Release any judgment as you do this and let me know how this goes.

Much Love, Always,

Shar

Intuition and Decision Making

Hello Queen,

Happy Saturday! So, I recently made a huge decision and honestly I am scared, but it feels good. As soon as I made this decision, I just felt all of the light and inspiration flood into my body. No, seriously I have so many ideas for QLQ and all of the ways I would love to grow and support my audience.

But, this wasn’t always the case for me. I am a Libra and I am prone to indecision. While my ability to see both sides of situations allows me to have high empathy, it also leads me to have decision paralysis. I didn’t like making decisions, plain and simple. And the reason I didn’t like making decisions was twofold. One, I believed that I could make the wrong choice and my life would fall apart, and two, I didn’t have faith that I knew which decisions were right for me.

This lead to me putting up with and tolerating a lot of things simply because I was too scared to make a decision that felt counter to what everyone else was doing. I convinced myself that this was how everyone else lived, so that’s how life was supposed to be. As a result, I silenced my own voice and desires and lost clarity in what it was that I wanted out of life. Queen, I don’t need to tell you that without clarity, you’re not going to be able to make any decisions ever. Or, you’ll make decisions based on what other people around you are doing or what you feel will get you approval, love and respect.

So, what’s the first big decision you have to make? You have to decide what it is that you want! And remember babe, you are allowed to change your mind later on. But, I know what it’s like to try to make a decision when you feel like you have absolutely no clarity at all. I feel that this lack of clarity comes from silencing your intuition and dreams for a long time. You have trained yourself not to hear what you already know on a spiritual level. And you didn’t do this because you were trying to destroy yourself. You did this because you were trying to protect yourself. You learned that only a small handful of people got to live their best lives and those people were just lucky. So, you decided that you were not meant to be one of those people and snuffed out all inklings of that dream because it was just too painful for you to hold space for something that you didn’t believe was possible.

But, you are here, which means that you have decided to choose differently and create a new story for yourself. A story where you do what you want and you don’t let anyone define what your life will look like but yourself. If you’re really stuck and you don’t know what it is that you want out of life (you do know, you just can’t hear it or aren’t ready to see it), then I would say start just by flexing your decision muscle. Strengthen the voice of your intuition by doing the little things that you feel called to do. Begin your day by asking yourself what do I feel like doing today? And trust that answer! If you want to take a bath, play video games, write, take a course, watch TV, go visit your family or whatever the case may be, go do it when you can. Because this is the voice of your intuition, queen. As you practice doing this, you will empower that voice to speak up louder and louder and then you will hear it in the areas of your life where you feel most unclear.

For the queen who is ready to get more clarity around what she really wants, you can dive into the free align with your best self workbook. This will help you reconnect with what you really want and start taking the first steps to get there.

Much Love, Always,

Shar

Emotional Decisions: You Are Not Being Irrational

Hello Queen!

A happy Tuesday to you all. I am actually writing this real time. Today, I want to talk to you about something that happened. Well, not the details, but what it taught me about myself.

I was definitely in an emotional loop, but I took the opportunity to find the silver lining and look for the ways to improve myself. It was also the time when I realized just how far I have come in understanding myself, my emotions and thought process, because I knew that while it was incredibly painful in the moment, it was still something that I wouldn't care about and react to for very long. I could even track the emotions and when they would come up. I mention this because it's important to celebrate ourselves and acknowledge our progress even when it feels like a small accomplishment.

But I learned something so much bigger. I learned that just because a decision is emotionally charged, does not mean that it is an irrational one. We have been conditioned to believe that emotions make us weak and irrational. That you should never make a decision when you are emotional because your judgment is being clouded and you're not thinking clearly. Well, who decided that emotions don't make you think clearly? And why did we all just agree with them?

I believe that all emotions serve a purpose and sometimes that purpose is a compass. Your emotions can serve as a guide to see if what you are doing is working or serves you. If you feel like shit, it's your cue that something just isn't working and if you feel amazing, then it's your sign that you are going in the right direction. But, I'm not perfect. I held the same belief that if I was making a decision based off an emotion, I was being irrational and I should wait until I was calmer to decide. However, I am learning to trust my subconscious mind and its sense of what to do. After all, I view the subconscious mind as one of the links to my highest self. And if I really want to honor and trust myself, I have to trust all of myself, not just the conscious mind.

So even though ego was screaming should you really be making this decision right now, subconscious mind was screaming, yes, you should. After talking to a friend, I realized that yes, the decision I was making to leave my job was emotionally charged, but it wasn't irrational and was something that I have wanted for a very long time. There are no guarantees that I am making the right decision. The fear of the unknown is still there, but I know that this is the decision I was meant to make at this time in my life.

And that will have to be enough for now. So, into the next chapter I go.

Much Love, Always,

Shar

What Most People Miss When Working Through Limiting Beliefs

Hello my queens!

I have to say that it feels so good to be back in the creative flow again. If you are ever wondering if I run out of ideas or motivation, the answer is yes. But I have passion in what I do and I trust that the motivation will come back, so I just allow myself to flow into what feels good. For all of my other queens in the creative space, I encourage the same cause burnout is shit.

Now that I have healed from a sudden onset of burnout, I have to say that I have felt so much more motivated to throw myself back into working through limiting beliefs. And I'm not talking about the ones I am consciously aware of. I am talking about the ones that exist in the subconscious space. If you didn't know this already, your subconscious mind holds a lot of shit in it. Your subconscious mind is responsible for creating over 95 percent of your reality! If you ever found yourself wanting one thing and doing the exact opposite of what you need to do to get that thing, it's your subconscious minds programming taking the lead.

I understand this, so I took the jump to dive more seriously into reprogramming old limiting beliefs that were influencing my day to day life in ways that I was not okay with. I love you all and believe in transparency, so I will tell you that biggest limiting belief that I was not aware of was that I believed on a subconscious level that I was not worthy of love and connection.

This manifested for me in that whenever I speak to someone new, some part of me automatically believes that I have to work hard to get them to like me. It manifested for me in social media in that when I posted and got a comment, my first thought is that it's hate. It manifests in that I am reluctant to reach out to people because I feel like I am bothering them. Or in being in professional networking spaces and turning into a wall flower because I think, "why would these people want to connect with me?" I just thought I was shy, but I now know that the problem was that subconsciously I didn't believe that I deserved to be loved and respected. That I just wasn't capable of forming genuine connections with people.

Of course, this is ridiculous, but remember that your subconscious mind is a child. I am doing the work to reprogram this belief through journaling, course work, hypnosis, EFT Tapping and reflection. This has always been the way I reprogrammed any limiting belief. But it hit me that the one thing you have to do to let go of a limiting belief after you work through it is decide that you are releasing it! It's not just about doing the work. It's about doing the work and consciously deciding that you are ready to let this go and believe something different.

What belief are you looking to let go of?

Much Love, Always,

Shar

Decision Making When Feeling Uncertain

Hello all of my entrepreneurial Queens,

Happy May to you all. If you read my previous post, then you will know that I am currently recovering from burnout and dealing with a low emotional state. I mentioned that I wanted to allow the sadness and overwhelm to occupy space and bring me the lesson they were meant to bring me. This has also meant confronting the big scary decision that I have been avoiding for the last two months. That decision? How serious I am about leaving my job. And with that comes a lot of fear and worry that I won't be able to financially support myself. In a previous post, I mentioned that I was decided. But now that it is getting closer and closer, a lot of shit is coming up (I promised to be truthful)

I know that my job isn't what I am meant to do but I am too scared to do anything about it. I keep saying that I love it, but love doesn't leave you emotionally and spiritually drained. That's some toxic love if it does. If I am being fully honest, there are three major things holding me back from taking the leap.

1. The fear that I won't be able to financially support myself, fall way behind on all of my loan payments and die (I didn't say the subconscious mind was rational)
2. I have no idea what the fuck I want to do! I know that there are things I would enjoy, but there are a lot of limiting beliefs in my mind about how to make these things a source of income. 
3. Some real serious limiting beliefs around worth. Some part of me does not believe that I am worthy of making money from the things that make me passionate. 

So, while I am not happy in my work now, fearful me just wants to stick it out while I figure things out. But here's the thing. Doing the things you don't enjoy doing just because you want to survive clouds your mind and thinking. You simply cannot think clearly if you are clouding your mind with Cortisol (stress). Why? Because you are in survival mode. Your brain cannot think in that creative flow state to get the clarity you are looking for because it's too stressed and scared. As far as your brain knows, your about to get eaten by a tiger or something. In addition, stress limits your ability to communicate and connect. All of this combined will make it damn hard to get clear on what it is that you want to do next. 

I know this, but because I am in survival mode and operating from a place of fear, my subconscious mind is like oh well, you can figure it out while you support yourself. Subconsciously, I am scared shitless. Consciously, I am questioning. Where do I go from here? How do I do what I love? What do I even love to do?

In summary, I am waiting to be ready. Waiting to be ready financially, spiritually and emotionally. And if there is anything I have learned is that we are never ready. It's scary as fuck, but feel the fear and do it anyway. I am waiting for the 100 percent yes from my spirit guides, my intuition, my highest self, the Universe, God, whoever. And I am never going to get the 100 percent yes. My brain has been designed to see all sides and to be aware of potential danger. That's why we won't ever get the fuck yes lets do this now and I am ready now. Sometimes, stepping into the majority yes with mostly faith in yourself has to be good enough.

Does that mean that I am suddenly not scared? Hell no. Does that mean that I'm going to quite my job right this second? Probably not. It does mean that I have some level of awareness of what is going on in my mind. And I can use that as a starting point to explore.