The Role Your Emotions Play in Your Spiritual Journey: Finding Balance

Good Morning, Queen!

Happy Friday and end of March. I am so excited that it is April. Number 1, because I am going on vacation, two because it's family time and three because it's Spring! So, I want to have some real talk with you. I have been reflecting quite a bit over these last few weeks. You know, trying to get aligned and working to understand myself in every season and all that (not the literal seasons, but this time it did happen to coincide with the arrival of spring).

And I got to thinking about emotions. I mentioned in a previous post that I learned from James Wedmore that it's not how you feel, it's how you feel about how you feel. I knew this, but I had forgotten in the hustle and bustle of life. What makes emotions like sadness, jealousy, anger, frustration and anxiety so hard to deal with is not just that they are heavy emotions, but that we often judge ourselves for feeling them. I have learned to stop judging the feeling of frustration, sadness and anxiety because I can recognize that they are temporary emotions serving their purpose. They are not reflective of me (or you) as a person.

But, in full honesty, anger is still an emotion I still struggle with a lot. In part because some part of me feels like being angry is a truly low vibrational state full of judgement and resentment. I don't want to shame myself for feeling a completely normal, human emotion. And for any of my other spiritual, manifesting queens, you will understand when I say that anger makes me feel the most spiritually unaligned (and kind of afraid of some kind of cosmic judgement/reaction). PS I talk all about manifestation and negative emotions in the QLQ email community, so if you've ever felt terrified that you would manifest things you don't want, I do encourage you to sign up!

In my reflection period, I decided that the new belief that I would plant is that I can be both spiritual and feel and embrace the full spectrum of emotions. As someone who spent 10+ years of her life emotionally numb, I am so grateful that I can connect with my emotions and embrace them. And I am folding the emotion of anger into that gratitude.

It's really hard for me to feel anger. Especially when I'm just not in a great mood and I am rampaging in my mind. "Fuck you, this person. Stop walking so slow, Moron. That's fucking dumb! Stupid bitch."😳 You can hear all of that judgement in that anger. I feel embarrassed even telling you that these thoughts come into my mind in my worst moods (which thankfully are far less). It makes me feel like a bad person, but I know that it is normal to have these thoughts from time to time because anger likes to lash out. We want to push the emotion away from us, so we project the root of the feeling outside of ourselves.

That's okay. In those moments, I remind myself that I don't actually think these things and make the conscious effort to follow the angry thought with a kind one, while also still accepting (and respecting) that the anger exists. It's truly a journey, but I am writing this to share that even when we feel our best and love ourselves so much, there is still healing we all do. No one is perfect.

I am also sharing this for all of my queens out there who feel the same shame/guilt around the emotion of anger and frustration. You can be spiritual and still feel anger. You can be manifesting epic shit and still have low vibration days. You are a human being and you are the universe. This is the beautiful line between both worlds that you walk.

Much Love, Always,

Shar

PS I am releasing a course to help women conquer their subconscious minds. The course is specifically designed to help you eliminate resistance, get clear on what you want and align with the life you desire. I am currently looking for beta testers for the course. If this interests you, you can sign up below and I will send you more information 😊

Send me more information

The 9-5 Isn't the Only Path to Career Success and Fulfillment

Hello Queens,

Happy Sunday! I know that this isn't normally the time I post, but I must be honest and say that this got away from for a second. I have been deep diving into some spiritual and alignment work. And I was struck with some inspiration. Today, I want to have a really honest conversation with you around the 9-5. Specifically, the pressure to be in the 9-5 and what it means for those of use who know that this isn't our path.

The first year I entered the workforce after college, I was sad and disappointed. I fully believed that work would be something that I enjoyed. I had been told again and again that everyone had to work, but if you worked a job you loved, then you would never work a day in a life. Armed with the belief that the 9-5 was the only option, I set about picking a career path that I felt would bring me the most satisfaction. Then I spent years getting the qualifications to do it. I got to work with students, travel the world and work with people that I thought were great. It was perfect, on paper at least.

But, I wasn’t happy. On top of that, I felt guilty for not being happy because for all intents and purposes I was working a dream job. It was a dream job, but it was a dream that I no longer had. I think there’s this perception that if you are leaving your 9-5 job or switching careers, it’s because you hated it. But, where does that leave the rest of us who don’t hate their jobs, but feel like it’s not what we are meant to do?

Feeling guilty and ashamed for not being grateful for a job we should love AND desperately looking for an excuse or justification to leave. After all, how do we explain to people that the reason we left our jobs was simply because it wasn’t right for us? Because we believe that there was more to life? What do we do when we really enjoy the work that we do, but know that it is simply not the work we are meant to do?

It’s a tight and confusing spot (enough to send anyone spinning into a quarter-life crisis). Here’s the thing. We don’t owe anyone an explanation (but it’s a natural thing to want to explain because our primal brains are trained to be afraid of exclusion). We only owe ourselves the opportunity to pursue the dreams and desires that exist in our hearts. But that doesn’t make things easier. Making that leap doesn’t suddenly feel easy. In order to do thing and start living the lives we want and know we are meant to live, we have to do the inner work.

Otherwise, leaving the 9-5, or taking the leap, or doing anything new will always feel impossible and unrealistic.This is where faith in yourself comes into play. I knew that I was not meant for the 9-5 life. I understood that I was being called to something higher. BUT ego screamed that it was unrealistic, that I wouldn’t be able to support myself; that I was being ungrateful; that people wouldn’t understand; that I would fail. If that sounds familiar, then you also know what an awful feeling it is to be called to do something higher, and feel obligated to stay in your current reality. In other words, to be caught in your own limiting beliefs and the replayed stories of well meaning people.

I found the courage to redesign what work looked like by feeling the fear and doing it anyway. By putting my old beliefs and ego on trial so to speak and questioning why I thought what I did and if it was true. And to quote Jen Sincero, by hitting the spiritual gym.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.”- Zig Ziglar

The second way I built the courage was to have a why and passion bigger than my fear and bigger than my limiting beliefs. For me, this was the love and passion I have for Quarter-Life Queens and the strong belief that life didn’t have to mean selling my time for something I only kind of loved.

I know that starting the inner work and diving into the world of personal growth is incredibly confusing. There are what feels like trillions of books to read, podcasts to listen to, courses to take and coaches to hire. It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin (I got tired just writing that out!). This was a world I navigated (and continue to navigate), so I know that it is confusing. I am committed to helping the women out there who know they are ready to leap into their dream lives, so I put together some of the best resources for personal growth I have found and worked through (including journal prompts, worksheets and workbooks). This is completely free and available for you in the Quarter-Life Queens Personal Development Library.



Much love, always,



Shar

PS Queen

I am releasing a course on how to master your subconscious mind and conquer your limiting beliefs! But before we launch, I need some of my queens to beta test 😍If you're ready to transform your life, take control of your beliefs and uplevel your mindset, you can sign up below👇💁.

Sign Me Up!

3 simple steps to Identify your limiting beliefs

Hello Queen!

Happy almost April (how crazy is that?!). If you have been in the personal growth/development world for any amount of time, then you have probably encountered the term limiting beliefs. Maybe you have some idea that limiting beliefs are important when it comes to change, but wonder what the heck they even are and how to identify them within yourself. It can feel like a complicated task, which is why I have broken this process down into three simple steps. 

1. What do you want? If you don't know, that's a limiting belief. Some part of you is afraid of what it means to want that thing and what it says about you if you don't get it. If you are really unclear about what it is that you want (that's okay-- we all start somewhere), then you can start with what you don't want. Look around your life and get clear on what it is that you don't want. Understand why you don't want it. Get clear on what it is about that thing that upsets you. Then it's simple. You want its opposite. 
2. Life audit. Take a look around you. Look at all the realms in your life and list what feels good and what doesn't. List what you are happy with and what you are not happy with. Just take a look at this, so you can understand where your life is now. Why should you do this? Because where your life is also where your beliefs lie. Your current reality was created by your beliefs on a subconscious level and this is an easy way to understand what you think. If you don't have what you want, or there is an area of your life that you are unhappy with, then there are beliefs that are fueling this reality!
   
   You have a belief about either what it means to have that thing that you want, or what it means to want the thing that you want, or a belief about what it takes to get there, or a belief about why you don't deserve to get there. It's great if you know what some of your limiting beliefs are, but the big beliefs that are creating our realities often exist on a subconscious level. This exercise is a great way to bring them to your conscious mind. This will enable you to rewrite your limiting beliefs and operate from the new belief you intentionally created. And if you're reading this and thinking, "Well, how the heck do I even start to rewrite those beliefs and implement them?" then you'll want to read to the end of this post. 
3. Identify whether or not this belief is limiting. If you feel that the belief you have is not in alignment with what you want, or it makes you feel bad, then it is a limiting belief. It is limiting what is possible in your life and limiting you from creating change that is in alignment with what you want. It's that simple. If you feel the need to justify why a belief that is not serving you is not a limiting belief, then you need to look at why you are attached to that belief. In what way is it serving you?

How did you find this exercise? Did you uncover anything that surprised you? 

PS Queen

I am releasing a course on how to master your subconscious mind and conquer your limiting beliefs! But before we launch, I need some of my queens to beta test 😍.Who wants to be ONE of TEN BETA TESTERS for this course?! You get a HUGE discount in exchange for telling me what you love and don't love about this course. If you're ready to transform your life, take control of your beliefs and uplevel your mindset, you can sign up below👇💁.

HECK YES! Sign me up!

And if you know of any other queens who would be interested in this course, then share this with them. We'd love to have them. 

Much Love, Always,

Shar 

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Loneliness, Overwhelm, Balance and Entrepreneurship

Good Morning, Queen!

I want to throw it back to some old school QLQ today. That's right, babe, it's Shar's selfish time. And for all of my new queens out there who don't know what that is, it's a time when I get real and honest with you about my life and what's going on. Because there is power in your story and I know that we can all feel a bit lonely.

It is has been an amazing year thus far. I feel so motivated to do so much and feel like I'm finally aligning with the version of myself who runs an empire. But I also want to be real with you and say that I am kind of lonely and overwhelmed. When you have something you're so passionate about, it can be easy to lose yourself in it. Running Quarter-Life Queens takes a lot of different kind of work. I feel that it is my duty to connect with as many of you beautiful souls as possible. I know it gets lonely and I remember what it was like to feel disempowered and disappointed with life. I remember what it was like to live life by other people's stories and truths.

And queen, as much as I love QLQ, I do get overwhelmed sometimes. I get so excited by a new project or idea that I just run with it. And I run with it until I'm exhausted because I'm sucked into the creative flow. On the one hand being in the creative flow is a great thing. And on the other, we have to learn how to create that boundary with ourselves. Because what ends up happening if we don't set that boundary is that we feel burnt out, overwhelmed and resentful. And girl, that is the very definition of unaligned.

So, I've been working on trying to find that balance. The balance between work, creativity, hobbies, productions, friends and romance. I've been trying to understand where my priorities are. And I do this by getting clear on what it is that I want out of my life in the next five years and what the current version of me did to get there (make sure you tune in for the next post about how I learned to do this). What I've learned is that she didn't run herself into the ground. Future me has a lot of freedom, so I am working to align with that now.

Aside from trying to reach as many people as possible with QLQ (if you enjoy this blog, please do share it with other people who you think would enjoy it as well. The share button is always at the bottom of every post), I've also been dealing with loneliness.

I admit that I have allowed myself to get too far into my introvert tendencies. Which is so not good because I am an ambivert, and can't ignore my extroverted side. Because what ends up happening is that I fall into loneliness, then sadness, then lack of motivation (man, am I thankful that I learned my patterns of emotions and chain reactions). So, I am making the effort to nurture budding friendships, connect with current friends more and build new friendships. This too can feel exhausting and exciting because hell we are complex beings allowed to feel complex emotions.

Of course, I continue with personal growth/development because I love it and am committed to understanding myself fully along the way. Some of my new favorites have been:

1. Selena Soo for the babe struggling with learning how to be visible the right with
2. Mind Your Business Podcast with James Wedmore for the queen who wants to run an empire
3. Game Changers: What Leaders, Innovators and Mavericks Do to Win at Life by Dave Asprey for the queen who just wants to lead a life where they are in charge

Of course, my old faves also come in rotation and I just finished a couple of courses. Safe to say, Queen, that things have been absolutely insane. I am still working on finding balance and fine tuning before I run screaming into the night, but I think I am getting closer because I am intentionally setting aside time to do absolutely nothing and time to do self care that doesn't require work or much thinking.

What are you currently working on/through?

Much love, Always,

Shar

Why we Attach to the Outcome and How to Detach

Good Morning Queen!

I am writing this from the library of my hotel and I have to say I feel posh as heck. This is hands down one of the most beautiful hotels I have stayed in. It’s so nice that the air lightly smells of leather, flowers and expensive perfume. This is my view at the moment. And I say this not to brag, but because I feel so aligned with my best self. 

Travel is something that is really important to the best version of me. As is being able to do work from anywhere in the world in spaces that raise my vibration. In this moment, I truly understand how that feels. It makes me happy because I can experience it now, which means that it is manifesting now. This very moment is proof from the universe that all I desire is on its way to me now.

Now, I’m not here to brag about my hotel. I actually want to talk to you about attachment to the outcome and what that means for setting your goals. When it comes to building your dream life there are quite a few steps, lots of uncertainty and maybe even some anxiety and fear. If you’re anything like me, you know that that what you want is possible but doubt that it will happen for you. You set massive goals and expectations because subconsciously (or maybe even consciously) you are looking for proof. Proof of one or two things. Either that you can have everything that you want or that you don’t have what it takes to create everything you want. This is a natural feeling. You are completely redirecting your life, may have absolutely no models in your day to day life of people who have consciously and intentionally created their dream lives, and can only see maybe one step ahead of you. The uncertainty in the fear are uncomfortable, but they are natural. 

You are making the decision to believe and jump into what you cannot see and have no tangible proof  that it exists (aside from the calling of your soul of course). As a result you try to find proof everywhere. You look for certainty everywhere. You put so much pressure on yourself to do the thing and get the outcome and get the outcome NOW. Now or never you subconsciously think.

Photo: Linus Nylund on Unsplash

I know this because this was me. Setting goals and making the accomplishment of them a must for no other reason than I so desperately needed certainty that what I was going for wasn’t crazy. That I was right to listen to my intuition, that I could trust the universe to bring me what I want.

And this energy spilled into everything. How I interacted with other, what I was able to be grateful for, how I felt about myself, what I thought when I released a product or made an offer or showed up on social media. Instead of thinking this is going to work, all I could think was I really hope this works. I need to make this work.

And the thing is Queen that this pressure was not out of a desire to succeed, but out of a desire to feel worthy. And the only way I could feel worthy was by succeeding. Sound familiar? That’s because this is what society conditions us to believe. Not happy? Don’t feel fulfilled? Not succeeding? Then you’re not trying hard enough. You are not doing enough. You are not being visible enough. Do more. Do more. Do more.

Is it any wonder that we tie our sense of worth to success? Is it any wonder that we stay feeling strung out, overworked and unsuccessful? Well, I want to disrupt this story right now, because quite frankly, it’s not helping anyone babe. PS Queen, this where your attachment to the outcome originates. Want to detach and speed up the process of creating what you desire? Start here.

The issue is not that you are not working hard enough. The issue is not that you don’t have vision or that that you don’t have what it takes. The issue is that you are listening to your old stories and don’t believe in yourself. The issue is that you are making your success and accomplishments of your goals critical to your survival. It’s that you. You need more faith in yourself and your universe. You don’t need more goals, you need to learn why you believe the accomplishment (or non-accomplishment) of these goals says anything about you.

I don’t want you to work harder—I mean who wants to live a life where they work themselves to death? I want you to look deeper. But I get it, Queen. It’s really hard to look deeper in the beginning of your journey cause you might not even be sure of what you are looking for.

I have been there. After two years (and many more dabbling in the field), countless books, podcasts, courses and journals, I have learned which questions to ask and when. That’s why I created the Align With Your Best Self and Goal Setting Like a Queen workbooks. And that’s why I made them completely free. Feeling like you’re spinning your wheels and drowning in a sea of goals is one of the shittiest feelings in the world.

So, I created the guides as your starting point. It is my sincere hope that these materials can help you on your journey and find the clarity, certainty and faith that you are looking for. You can access your copy of these workbooks (and the entire QLQ Freebie Library) below.

Access your workbooks

When it comes to redirecting your life, where do you feel stuck or most confused?

Much Love Always,

Shar

Building the Courage to Leave the 9-5

Hello Queens,

A very happy mid March to you all. So, I was thinking about my life and where I am going with it. My job officially ends at the end of May and I have absolutely no intention of staying on after or applying for a new job😲. Shock I know. If you're anything like me, a million thoughts may be going through your head.

What the fuck? How will you support yourself?
You have to work to live, you can't just not work.
that's fucking stupid
who are you to think you can just skip out on working.

OR you might be thinking, I wish I could do that.

I know because these are all of the thoughts that went through my mind when I firmly decided at the age of 24 that I was done with traditional work. That the only boss I wanted to work for was myself. Those exact same thoughts ran through my head. I heard the echoes of every single person in my life screaming that this was a foolish decision. But I also heard the voice of my intuition saying that this was the right thing to do.

Deciding to leave your full time job to pursue something you have no guarantees with is scary. Making yourself fully responsible for paying all of your expenses without a steady stream of income is scary. Leaping into unfamiliar territory and boldy redirecting your life is scary. I know.

It was only a couple of months ago that I found myself waking up and dreading work. I was annoyed by every task I had to do that was not working on Quarter-Life Queens. I was feeling short-tempered, impatient and just struggled to find enjoyment in my work. I would wake up in the morning and force myself to go to work for the only reason that I needed the paycheck to continue to support myself and live a life I was comfortable with. FRUSTRATION was all I could feel when it came to work.

And I felt terrible that I was so miserable with my job. I loved my coworkers, my boss was kind and patient and understanding. The work was challenging, but still allowed me a lot of freedom and flexibility with my day. I lived very comfortably. We had open communication. In so many ways it was the work I wanted. And I couldn't understand why the fuck I hated it so much. I didn't understand why I couldn't be grateful to be employed at all (especially after the post grad unemployment I experienced).

I felt like a spoilt brat throwing a tantrum. I felt guilty that I couldn't appreciate the blessing it was to have job. I worried that my frustration was impacting my performance and at the same time, gave no fucks if it was.

I was just not aligned and I knew the issue was that I was giving my time and energy to something that no longer lit me up. And I was doing it because I was afraid that this was the only way I could support myself and continue to live comfortably. I was doing it out of a sense of obligation. Yet there was this voice in my head that kept asking, "is this really the only way? And this can't be all there is to life."

I went back and forth, back and forth. I tried to convince myself that these feelings were normal. I tried to guilt myself into gratitude. I wanted to believe that the issue wasn't my job when I damn well knew that it was. I was meant to do something different, but I was too scared to take the leap.

Then one day I was doing some inner work and going through my relaxation/alignment routine. I finished the practice and asked myself questions with the intent to listen, not to judge or try to change. I thought about continuing to work or applying for a different job and my stomach just dropped. Lump in the throat, full dread. And then I thought about going full force with my dream and I immediately felt lighter. Happier.  I snapped back into alignment and trusted the feelings I was having. I asked for a sign from my intuition and this was a clear one.

And that was it. I was done. I knew that the right path for me in this moment was to pursue the dream that was in my heart. The passion I couldn't stop thinking about. I decided right there and then that I was not going to renew my position and that I wouldn't apply to a single other job.

As I am sure you know, that was a scary decision, but it's one that I made with certainty. From there I did the inner work. I worked on understanding why I thought work was the only way to make money, why I thought work only looked one way, and why I believed it was possible for other people to live their dream lives but not me.

I learned to stop listening to other people's truth. I put faith in myself and my calling. I decided that my dream existed for a reason and I owed it to myself to pursue it. And yes, while it is sometimes still very scary to think about, I know I have the tools, resources and guides to help me get there.

Making the decision to stop working (traditionally) in your twenties can feel like the scariest/ most foolish decision ever. You worry about the choices you are making and how others will perceive you. But I learned a long time ago to trust my emotions. I already know how absolutely shit it is to do something that makes you miserable, but I also know that misery and obligation is not the way life has to be.

Now I am confidently, fully involved in my business. I love what I do and don't second guess the decisions I make (well most of them anyway. I'm not perfect). I feel free and aligned and inspired knowing that I am honoring myself by pursuing my dreams wholeheartedly. I feel proud that I listened to my own voice and marched on in spite of the fear.

So, if you, like me entered the work force into what was supposed to be your dream job and was like this fucking sucks, I want you to know that there are other ways. As scary as it is, you can trust yourself to redesign your life in a way that feels aligned to you. And if there is one thing I could tell the version of myself who was shaking in her boots about leaving her job and was shaming herself for wanting to do so in the first place, it would be that nothing is permanent and persistence will always outlast failure. Don't be afraid to follow your curiosity.

What would you be doing if money wasn't an issue? I'd love to know!

And if you loved this post, please do share it with anyone you think needs to hear this.

Much Love, Always,

Shar

How to manage difficult emotions: What Happens After You Decide to Redirect your life

Hello Queen,

I want to be real with you today. I think making the decision to change your life and live for yourself is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It is also a very brave thing to do, and I want to honor you for honoring yourself.

But I also want to be honest with you. Making the decision to change your life and live for yourself isn't a one and done kind of deal. You must choose yourself again and again, especially in the face of the old stories that will come up. I mean you are making the decision to lean into uncertainty, to take a different path, to TRUST yourself. It's natural for you to feel a little bit chaotic. It's not like you make the decision and all of a sudden you are certain, and never doubt yourself and are full of sunshine all the time. It's a new experience and you are still finding your legs.

There are days where you will be on the highest of highs. Full of faith and inspiration and absolutely trusting yourself. And sometimes you'll be like oh shit, can I really do this? Do I have what it takes. This is natural. It's complete normal for you to be both fearful and happy. It's an exciting time in your life, but I don't want you to feel like you are doing something wrong if you don't feel good all the time. You can thrive and not feel 100 percent.

I think that we can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to succeed immediately. Why? Because we want to prove to ourselves that we made the right decision. That we were not foolish in the choice to be ourselves in all realms. That our dreams really are possible. This only adds to the turmoil of emotions and confusion you may be feeling.

I'm in a very good place in my life, but I still feel fear at times. I feel the pressure to succeed and prove that QLQ is a business. I feel the pressure to to stay aligned and do all the things and succeed in business now because every minute I don't succeed now is another minute I have to spend doing something that doesn't make me happy. I consider myself a very happy and optimistic and aligned person, but I have days where I don't feel 100 percent. I do have days when I am impatient and doubtful and even angry. This is my humanness, and I accept it for what it is. I share this with you so you can know that it is okay. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling afraid and uncertain. You are doing something different. It's to be expected, queen.

Uncertainty is a part of life, but I want to help you create certainty in yourself, even when the little voice of fear screams its doubt. That's why I want to share the three most powerful lessons I have learned about emotions. The most powerful and effective way to create certainty in yourself is to understand yourself. And this includes learning to understand your emotions, not just bury them.

1. It's not how you feel, it's how you feel about how you feel. I learned this one on the James Wedmore podcast and it was a game changer. No one likes to feel heavy emotions. They don't feel good, which is why we try so hard to push them away. But I encourage you to embrace your humanness and the full spectrum of emotions you have been given. And I encourage you to take it one step further and look at how you feel about how you feel. That's where the real magic, power and growth is. While changing the emotion is difficult, it's a lot easier to reframe how you feel about it. Once you can do that, it becomes a lot easier to just allow the emotion to be and serve its purpose. For example, if I feel angry and I am ashamed of my anger, I just feel twice as shitty. But if I feel angry, and I feel okay about my anger, I can better understand that it is just an emotion serving a purpose. I can allow it to run its course in a healthier way.
2. The universe only cares if you feel good 51% of the time. So stop worrying that you are manifesting something you don't want and stop trying to cram yourself into the positivity box. You're doing fine and you were not meant to experience only one emotion. The universe is not out to punish you because you don't feel good. Nothing is being taken away from you because you allowed yourself to feel something other than happiness and gratitude. 
3. Learn to sit with and embrace the emotions that make you uncomfortable; they serve a purpose. As hard as they can be to feel (trust me girl, I know that anxiety and fear and shame SUCK), they do serve a purpose and it's not to torture and punish you. All of your feelings are telling you something much deeper. Pay yourself the respect of listening to them. And if you're not part of my email list, I talk all about how to know what your feelings are really telling you, so I highly recommend you join our community. Hint: They're not telling you that you suck and can't do it. 

These are the three most powerful lessons I have learned when it comes to riding the waves of uncertainty. So, when you make the decision to change your life and you have those days when you're brain is just like "WHAT THE FUCK?!," don't be afraid. Don't let those feelings and thoughts intimidate you. It's not a sign of anything but your healing and growth into a different version of you. Take those emotions for the good sign that they are and learn to ride the wave of your own feelings. It won't be easy, but you will get better at it.

And if you still find yourself struggling with that low vibrational space, I understand. I still struggle with this, but I also understand that it is a natural part of my journey and not some kind of manifestation of incompetence. You can read on for my 3 tips for stress and anxiety management for those days when the emotions feel just a bit too overwhelming.

Much love always,

Shar

My Journey and how I strengthened my connection with myself and the universe

Hello Queen,

I have been in reflective state as I let go of the shit that no longer serves me. I have to be honest and say that it has been a pretty exhausting past couple of weeks, but the person I am becoming is so grateful. Also, it's fun to challenge yourself in new ways. I committed to fast tracking my growth and have been happier since doing so. So, in honor of this, I want to walk you through my journey. And I mean that. Everything I did that brought me from broke, struggling and sad, to happy, accepting and aligned.

We are all on our own paths, but I love you all so much and really believe in the power of sharing my story. So, here is my journey and some of the steps I took to massively up level my life. I would love to hear about your journey as well. Was there one moment that changed the game for you? What was your biggest breakthrough?

Photo by Joe Hu on Unsplash

I graduated with my Master's degree in June of 2017. I was the first person in my family to do this and was happy. Or so, I tried to convince myself. I wasn't necessarily happy to be pursuing the typical life, but I knew the life I was pursuing would allow me to support myself and my family. So, that's what I settled for. I jumped from graduation, into a summer job as a resident director. I was full of confidence that I would find a high paying job before the summer was over.

Well, as you know, that didn't happen. Instead, I found myself with a mountain of bills, no money and no job in sight. I was definitely angry, stressed the fuck out and desperate for any kind of job. This was the beginning of my journey.

I took my self to Barnes and Noble and just read the first book that called to me. I was dealing with money struggles, so it makes that I picked up You are A Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero.  LOL I couldn't even afford the book, so I would go to Barnes and Noble every day and read that book. I learned a lot of things, but there were three major takeaways that changed my entire life.

1. The Universe is always supporting you and wants to see you succeed
2. You have to believe you are worthy to create the beautiful life you want and bring that money in
3. Feeling sorry for yourself is pointless and super bad mojo. Find gratitude where you are for what you have, always. 

I had nothing to lose, so I jumped into this. Not even a month later I was employed at two really amazing jobs an older version of myself was thrilled to have. But that fire was lit in my belly. I WOKE up and remembered who I was. I remembered what I wanted and I couldn't stop now. So, I refused to settle and committed to my growth.

Photo by Spencer Dahl on Unsplash

From that point on, I released to the Universe. I declared that I wanted to follow my passion and desire to be my own boss. I trusted that the Universe would show me the steps I had to take and people I had to meet to get there. While I still struggled with finances, I was much more in control of myself and my reactions and that made my life way easier.

Nowhere in Jen Sincero's books did she mention Manifestation, but this would become a huge part of my journey. 

I found myself on Instagram one day where I somehow stumbled upon an account called BossBabe. I was trying my best to step into Boss me, so I signed up. Not even two days later and they were running a free training on how to be a 6-figure entrepreneur. I signed up immediately and had to appreciate the Universe, because this was exactly what I asked for. 

With absolutely no fucking money (no seriously), I signed up for their monthly subscription as proof to myself and the universe that I was serious and committed to my new journey. 

The universe is filled with beautiful synchronicity and only a few days later did the account Manifestation Babe come up as an account I should follow. I heard the Universe loud and clear (at the time I was questioning what I could do to make the things I wanted appear in my life), so I followed the account. Let me tell you, my mind was blown and nearly two years later, I am happy to consider Kathrin one my my mentors. 

For the next several months, I found other amazing women doing the things I wanted to do and openly sharing how they did so. And that was amazing. I took it as a sign from the universe that what I wanted was more than possible and I was on the path to getting it. One after the other I found Lauren Eliz Love of Badass Business Babe, Cara Alwill Leyba of the Champagne Diet, James Wedmore and so many other amazing people. 

Photo by Karina Vorozheeva on Unsplash

When I first started this journey, I worried that I would not be able to keep the motivation and fire lit. I worried I would return to old habits and once again, give up on my dreams. Well, here I am two years later, and I have to say the fire is stronger than ever. I didn't start my journey with the intent to become spiritual and run my own business. But, that's what it turned into. And I strongly believe that it turned into that with the guidance of the universe. 

I trusted that I would find the resources I needed because I was always on the right path, and so the resourced appeared. I learned to master myself, trust my instincts and have faith in the universe and that has made all the difference. 

Not even two years later and my life is in a completely different place. I got my dream apartment in my dream neighborhood. I got all of my accounts back in good standing. I got my finances in order, started my own business and am now able to support myself and my family. Those are all wonderful, but most valuable to me is the love and acceptance I was able to find for myself at all times. I learned to embrace who I am while still moving towards who I want to be. 

I didn't ever think I would be the person with the full moon rituals, and the daily training and the podcasts and the coaches. I didn't think I would be the person with the love for herself and the courage to pursue what was in my heart, but that is where my journey has led me thus far and I am forever grateful. 

The Universe led me to the people and content I needed to see and understand. And I know the universe led you here as well. So, I lovingly ask, what do you feel called to work on? What has led you to Quarter-Life Queens?

As always, I hope you enjoyed getting to learn just a bit more about my journey. As you can see, everything was connected and it all led me here. I didn't actively seek out anyone or anything. They just all came to me. And that was the true beauty in my journey. I couldn't have planned for it, but it was the ultimate show that the universe truly does want to see you succeed and pursue the desire in your heart. 

By the way, Queen. If you loved this post, I have an entire newsletter dedicated entirely to motivation, manifestation and mastering your mindset. Sign up now

Much Love, Always,

Shar

7 ways I Shift Into a Better Vibration and Relax

Hello Queen,

Can you believe that it's March, already? Today, I want to throw it back to old school, QLQ, because there is something that I am working through and I refuse to hide that from you. For a long time, I have been struggling with my empath abilities. On the one hand, I recognize it for the gift that it is. It is what allows me to connect with others and myself on a deeper level. It is a manifestation of my strong intuition. And on the other hand, it's a huge pain in the behind. I don't enjoy feeling the emotions of the world. It hurts my hurt and I so wish that I wasn't so easily influenced and affected by the emotions of others. So, this post goes out to all of my empath queens. It goes to all of my queens who think the feel too much and are damn tired of letting their emotions be influenced by other people and negatively impact their lives.

While I would love to tell you that your life will be rainbows and sunshine and you will never feel unmotivated or sad, I would be a damn liar if I did. You are a human, and so there will be times where you will not feel in the best vibration state. There are times where you will feel like shit, and I can't emphasize enough that when you do, it's so important that you have tools to help you both respect these emotions and move into a better feeling one. Only you know what will work for you, but I want to share with you my top resources for when I am feeling like an absolute coiled ball of crap.

Can't read this now? Pin it for later :)

*I am not sponsored or endorsed in any way to tell you about any products mentioned. Nor have they been gifted.  I simply enjoy and use them frequently.

1. Think up. This a tool that allows you to record affirmations of your choosing. You don't always want to say affirmations, but it is so easy just to play them and listen to them in your mind. I find that this is a great way to remind me of what I want to learn and accomplish, while also programming myself to think different thoughts. 
2. Bejeweled. I like to play this in zen mode as this is a great way for me to enter a meditative state. It's just something that allows me to get out of my own head and focus on something else. 
3. Satisfying gifs. You know the ones where things fall perfectly into place or just make you feel good. Like the one below. I am very effected by it and find that it allows me to slow my thoughts, loosen my muscle and just relax a bit. 
   
4. Happy music. For me, that's bubble gum pop. If I'm not too lost in my feelings yet, then I find that it is easier and faster to shift into a better feeling emotion by listening to a happy song.
5. 6 minute crystal mediation. Pick two crystals that call to you, set an intention for each one, set a timer for 5 minutes and breathe deeply. With each in breath, picture a pure white light entering your body. Think of it as cleansing. With each out breath picture a colorful energy and release of all negative tension in your body. Hold your breath for 2 seconds between each breath and visualize clear space above you before you take your next in breath. End with 1 minute of connection to universe use of the omm. This is the vibration of the world. It’s okay if you feel a bit silly doing it. I find this practice very therapeutic and empowering. 
6. Talk to yourself in journal. Be curious, ask questions and most importantly write stream of consciousness style. Whatever comes up you write out. See this as a conversation and don’t allow conscious mind to think. You are exploring your roots, not your branches. 
7. If all else fails, just lean into the emotion. Allow it to run its course and don’t judge yourself for feeling it. I know it’s uncomfortable. Learn to sit with the discomfort without self soothing. This emotion is clearly trying to tell you something. Do yourself the favor and listen 

These are just seven of the things that I find to be very effective and helpful in dealing with negative emotions (my own or absorbed). I would love to hear from you! Did you try any of these? What do you do when you're feeling down?

Much love, always,

Shar