Which Opportunity is for me? Handling redirection like a boss

Hello Darlings,

Don't judge me, I forgot the password to this account (don't pretend like you've never done this). Now, there are many things that are weighing on my mind, so I'm going to do what I always do! Blog it.

First, is that I feel like I'm stuck in groundhog day. That is the real secret of adulthood, you go to work, you come home, you eat dinner, sometimes you go out with your friends and your one break is a possible vacation. I just feel dissatisfied and bored, which is sad because I'm 23.

The great news is that I can redirect and so can you. While my degrees were hella expensive, I am grateful for the fact that having them essentially means I can work wherever I get a job, and can transition into other fields. With so many opportunities, how the hell do you pick one.

As a self-proclaimed control freak with unbelievably high standards this was hard for me to accept, but it is so true. Just follow your curiosity (and don't forget your income. Don't choose broke, that shit will stress you the fuck out. You don't need to be a martyr if you don't have to. Don't let anyone shame you for choosing financial stability. Get your coin).

I feel like there is so much pressure to have a consistent resume and stable job, but, shit, happiness is also important. You don't have to lock yourself into one field because society says so. As someone who loves her jobs, yet still feels like she's stuck in a perpetual loop, let me tell you, that shit isn't fun.

* A note on this is that if you're going to explore, try to land the job that will give you the most identity capital (refer to Meg Jay's book: Why 30 is Not the New 20). This essentially means that you  have to think about future you, so go for jobs that will allow you to progress and develop new skill sets. One thing can lead to another, so don't forget to keep climbing that ladder, even as you work towards finding yourself.*

I'm currently in the process of applying to jobs because I am looking to do something new and exciting (plus I'm working towards moving to a warmer climate). I need my spark reignited, so I'm just keeping my mind open and seeing what comes my way. This means doing a lot of networking to find out what it is that people do, how they like it,  and how they hate it. I'm exploring, and I can do so by taking to someone else.

I also have no idea what kinds of jobs are out there, so a really helpful tip that I heard is ask people what are the three coolest jobs they have heard of. For instance, did you know that there is such a thing as Travel PR where you take publishers on vacations and conferences? Now you do. Another tip is to join listservs. People post all the time on there and jobs just pop into your inbox, which cuts down on search time for you.

Essentially, I am saying follow your gut, think about your future self, learn by talking to others, and don't be afraid of your curiosity. Note that I am employed, so I don't have the pressure of needing an immediate income to pay my bills. For those of you who are unemployed, these tips can be much harder to follow. Just take what resonates with you or use the tips when you can more freely explore your curiosity.

Now, go forth my queen. And remember, it is okay to put you first.

Happy, free confused and lonely at the same time: Life Update

What's up, ya'll?

It's been a little while since I've posted and that's because I've been doing some deep thinking. I hope that you don't mind this new kind of blog post where I just chat about my life and how I'm feeling. I'm all about empowerment, but I was starting to feel a little bit preachy and uninspired, so it's time to redirect.

Let me just say that this new year has been an absolute blessing. I feel incredibly calm, secure in my future, positive about my path and completely in love with myself. It's been fantastic.

This blog is all about inspiration, but I've decided that it's okay for me to incorporate more of myself into this platform. So, I hope you enjoy this post where I catch you up on life.

I am still employed (yes, go me) and my position has just been extended for a few more months. This is fabulous and I am pretty chill about life now. I'm not worried about much of anything really, and although this could be concerning, I just feel very zen. I mean, I still have bills, but I've just made the decision that God is always good and that 2018 is the year of it is what it is. This has been incredibly liberating for me.

I got my health insurance sorted out! It was so stressful not knowing whether or not I could go to the doctor. I can, and I have been taking full advantage by finally getting my teeth checked out. I also got the flu, so it has been a blessing to be able to see a doctor.

One of my student loans isn't due until July, so that's a load off of my back. I'm working on the other ones, and I have full faith that things will work out as they are meant to and in my favor.

I originally planned to move when my lease ended in August. However, I keep having dreams about the end of the world and my death, which means that it is time for me to move sooner. If you're not one to interpret dreams, then that makes no sense to you. Essentially, I am dreaming about rebirth and I am sure that it is time for me to move on. I have started making moves on this front. It's just taking me a second, because Cover Letter's are hella exhausting.

I finally have food in my house! I completely forgot how much I love to eat healthy, and it is so nice to finally have that option back again. I am still reading my self-help books and with every day, I become more confident and self-assured. I know that greatness is my destiny and I strive to embody that in every moment.

I am happily still single (will write a blog post on this). I can't wait to embrace the future with open arms.

I hope that you all enjoyed this little insight into my life. There wasn't really much of a flow, but this is what I felt like writing today. Anyway, I will see you all in my next post. Enjoy the rest of your day/night/afternoon.

How to Side Hustle: Overcoming Overwhelm

Wow! Holy guac y'all. I've been so busy working on a million different projects, that I forgot to post on my blog baby. So, I'm all about genuine posts and you already know how I feel about posting for the sake of posting, but I actually do have something to talk about.

I am a multi-passionate queen. I have a short attention span, ambition like no other and high standards that won't allow me to ever fully quit anything. I've heard a lot about putting your all into one project, but the reason that I have never done this is because I see how all of my interests are linked to each other. We are in this together to build an empire and an empire has a lot of moving parts.

For any of my other multi-passionate queens who can't focus on just one thing, I feel you. You have so many things that you want to work on, but have no idea how to do it all and how to do it all well. Instead of giving you a standard list of just solutions, I'm going to give you a list of common obstacles or feelings that may disrupt your side hustle and how to overcome them like a boss.

1. You love everything, but there isn't enough time in the day: I would just focus on one task at a time. If you focus too much on doing everything perfectly and quickly you will end up with nothing done. What I do  is focus on a task until I get bored and then I move on to one of my other projects. Undoubtably more time-consuming, but for me there is no rush. 
2. You're starting to forget about some of your projects (what? no, I don't do this *runs away). Yes, things will start to slip through the cracks. You will lose yourself in one of your projects and find that you have completely neglected another without realizing it. A to-do list or a planner comes in handy in this situation. While you may not have time to get to the other project right away, you won't be able to forget it. 
3. You get home from work, but you are so tired that you do nothing instead. This is just plain overwhelm. I would rethink the projects that you are working on and your reasons for doing them. If you have zero motivation to do it, then it isn't something you are passionate about. 
4. You're energized by your projects, but find that your sleep is suffering: When you're really passionate about a project, the last thing you will want to do is sleep. Sleep is so important, so I would say get a night time routine that relaxes you. Shut off all of your devices an hour or so before bed. Also schedule sleep if that's what you need to do. Sleep is mandatory not an option, so if you need to, treat sleep like one of your projects. 
5. You aren't able to look after things like your health and fitness because you are so busy with all of your new loves. It was so easy for me to do this. One because health and fitness is already hard to make myself want to do. Two, because I would much rather focus on my projects. Trust me, you and your body will start to feel the effects of a shit diet and no physical activity. Just look at it like this, your projects will turn out the best when you feel your best. 
6. What is this socializing thing you speak of? Another thing that is easily cut when you are multi-passionate is time spent with other people. I did this and instantly regretted it. Even if you are an introvert, it is so important to spend time with others. Again, you will feel that isolation very quickly and that doesn't make for the best outcomes.
7. You're secretly overwhelmed, but refuse to admit it. Don't be too prideful. I've always been the one to refuse to admit defeat or show "weakness". It's okay to be multi-passionate, but don't lie to yourself. If it's too much you need to put some projects on the back burner. This doesn't mean that you are giving up. It means that you are choosing you. 

Ultimately, it is all about balance. If you want to focus on several things at once, know that some things are sacrificed and this may be the slower route. But, for me, having multiple projects is exciting. You just have to learn to listen to your mind so you don't run yourself into the ground. I will see you all later. 

It's Okay to be Jealous

Hello Darling,

Caution: Aunty Shar preaching ahead.

I will openly admit that sometimes I'm jealous. You and your friend jetset to the Maldives? Jealous. Your boyfriend just asked you to be his wife? Jealous. Just got a big pay raise at work? Jealous. Living in your dream mansion? Jealous. Can afford to buy food? Jealous.

Listen, that is fucking okay! I'm here to tell you that jealousy is a natural emotion and there is no need to beat yourself up for feeling jealous. I don't care if the person you are jealous of is a stranger, your mom, a social media influencer, or your best friend. Jealousy is just a sign that you want what the other person has too. Not one of you can't lie to me and say that jealousy has never motivated you to change your life. Surprise! You can be blissfully happy for someone and also jealous!

Yet, this is not how society treats jealousy. Jealousy might as well be the root of all evil. Seriously, just look up jealousy quotes and see what comes up. I think jealousy is regarded so negatively because people are confusing jealousy with spite. Just because I'm jealous doesn't mean that I want you to fail. Being jealous doesn't mean that I hate you, or that I wish something bad would happen to you. All it means is that I want it too. You can have it, and I can have it, and they can have it too!

The problem doesn't lie in being jealous. The problem comes when you start trying to tear the other person down. The problem comes when you start to hate that person and aim to make that person miserable. Number one, that makes you a terrible fucking person. Number two, redirect that jealousy into getting what you want by hustling towards your own goals. There is infinite abundance in this world. Trying to take away the thing that you want from the other person won't make it easier for you to get it. If you or someone else is treating you like shit, it is not because they are jealous. It's because they are spiteful and full of resentment. The good news is that spite and resentment isn't actually for you.

Please stop shaming people (including yourself) for being jealous. You can be jealous. You are allowed to want more for yourself. Jealousy is an emotion just like any other emotion. Attempting to shut it off is futile and will only cause you harm (trust me). Be jealous, but don't be a hater.

That's all I have for you today. Definitely a more serious post, but something that I felt that I need to write because of how badly people are made to feel for being jealous.

I sincerely hope that this helps you out.

Wishing you the best,

Shar

Single on Valentine's day: My plans for a non-hermit solo night out

Hello my loves! (even more appropriate since we are in the month of love). 

I am all about self-love. I truly love myself so much that I sometimes worry that I am in love with myself (that's only kind of a joke). That being said, Valentine's day is one of my favorite holidays ever, even though I have been single for my entire life. I genuinely don't understand why people don't like this holiday. 

Anyway, I have the best Valentine's day planned for myself and I wanted to write a post about this holiday. Every post that I have read about being single on Valentine's day are like go hangout with your friends, or don't cry because nobody loves you. Like, bitch, first of all ain't nobody crying, second all of my friends are in relationships. 

So, if you don't have a galentine or a valentine (like me), then I hope that this post inspires you to go out and celebrate the love that you have for yourself. There's no need to lock yourself away like a hermit just because you're alone. 

First, I have been a solo traveler for just about two years, so I am very accustomed to eating alone. I say this because while I am not uncomfortable with eating alone while surrounded by loving couples, I understand that you may not be. That being said, one of the first things that I am doing on Valentine's day (after work that is) is going out to dinner. I made reservations for myself at a lovely new restaurant. I will get all dolled up for myself and treat myself to a delicious meal and a glass of wine. 

The second thing that I will be doing is watching a movie. I will try to do this at the theater, but if not, then I will hang out in my apartment building lounge and watch something that I feel like watching. It is important to me that I do this in public, because watching a movie at home isn't special. Plus the last thing I want to do is make myself isolated. 

Finally (at least to you all it's my final task), I will buy myself some flowers because I deserve some nice things too. So, as you can see, I'm treating myself to a very traditional date, but for one. 

If I can swing getting the following day off, then I will take myself to a really cool speakeasy downtown with amazing drinks and get very tipsy off of delicious overpriced drinks. 

Like I said, just because it's Valentine's day and your single doesn't mean that you can't celebrate too!

P.S. Sharlene does not proofread or do spelling and grammar checks. I got my degree in writing to be an editor/publisher, so I can do it. I just choose not to because I don't like it. Sorry not sorry.

Now go forth and love thyself my queens. Enjoy your boss ass night on the town. 

So... Where have I been?

Hello My Loves,

I hope that you are all doing well. So, I've been MIA for a month. Where the hell have I been?

I really wanted to take some time to think about my life, where I'm going, what my purpose is and what the purpose of this blog is. I want this blog to be a source of inspiration and positivity in all of my readers lives but I found that it was really difficult to produce positive content with a life message so often. Quite frankly, sometimes I didn't have anything to say. So, where was I? I was doing some soul searching.

In addition to being 23 and finding myself, I was also shifting my perspective. You read in my new years resolution post that I am determined to be the best me. This includes being honest with myself about a lot of things. Only one of which is that I am a dreamer. I love dreaming, but in the words of Shonda Rhimes, I didn't do. I could talk myself stupid about all of the things that I wanted to do, but never got around to.

Well that changed this year. Every single idea that I had, that I was passionate about, I followed. I regretted that I ever quite my YouTube channel, so I restarted it. I actually did this at the end of last year, but I have uploaded a new video every single week, and to me that is absolutely fantastic.

I also really wanted to improved my tech skills, so I spent all of January learning how to use Adobe Creative Cloud. I mention this because I also started my business. That's right! While I was off soul searching, I started my own business called Quarter Life Queen. I have big plans for Quarter Life Queen, and I am so happy that I started with a stationery line. So, if you're in the market for a planner, go check out QQL on Etsy!

That is where I've been and that's why I've been MIA on here. I love you all and this blog so so much, and I had to pay the proper respect by thinking about what this is. That being said, I am back to regularly uploading posts on here. If you are sill with me on this journey, thank you so much. To all of my new readers, welcome to my journey. I'm so happy to have you here.

Until my next post!

All of my love and well wishes.