Top Ten Highlights of 2017: Welcoming the new year

Hi everyone,

I hope that you are all having a lovely weekend. It is snowing here in New York which means that I am staying inside today. I find myself eagerly anticipating the new year, one because I know that it will be a great year, and two because 2017 was a struggle. Or at least I have realized that I started viewing 2017 as this awful year that almost ruined my life. We're not about that on here. Instead of focusing on all of the bad that happened in 2017, I decided to shift my perspective. I'm ringing in the new year by saying a hearty thank you for just 10 incredible things that I got to do in 2017. 

1. Going to Miami and chilling in a private cabana on the beach. Plus being day drunk for the entirety of my trip. This was my first solo trip that was a getaway and not an adventure/touristy one. This was also the weekend that my niece was born. You can tell how much I love y'all cause I'm letting you see my crazy baby hairs post swim while I get day drunk.

2. Going to Costa Rica. Hands down the most beautiful place I have ever been. The people were so lovely and anytime I got to latin american countries, I feel so in touch with my hispanic heritage.

Chilling on the boat party on the way to the beach

If you like Pina Coladas (sorry I had to). Fun fact: I still drink Pina Coladas even though I'm allergic to pineapple

3. Releasing my fears. I went white water rafting, real zip lining and I rode a horse. Drowning is one of my worst fears and shooting across a jungle on a line was terrifying, but I did both. I braved rapids, and came out on the other side. I also have a video on my channel about my time in Costa Rica.

Note the look of excited horror on my face. 

4. Finishing my master's thesis. This paper took up 9 months of my life and once I was done with the last edits and hit submit, I can't even explain the euphoria.
5. Graduating from UPenn. This was unbelievable for me because as a teenager I didn't think I would get the chance to go to an ivy league, and I proved to myself that not only could I go to one, I could graduate from one. Plus graduating is always an amazing feeling. I sadly only have video of this day and no pics.
6. Shortly aftet graduating, I took a week long luxury solo trip to Mexico! I had always wanted to go to Mexico, but could never find anyone who could afford to come or that wanted to come. So, I went by myself. That was absolutely terrifying, but I had the best, most relaxing time. Plus there were hella cute boys and unlimited free food and drinks.

7. Because grad school is weird, everyone had one more month of class post graduation. During this month, I received news that my master's thesis received distinction. #blessed.
8. To celebrate my new job and completion of my master's program, my best friend and I took a last minute trip to Tokyo. Now this was a dream that my pre-teen self would have died to live. I made it my reality and had the best time ever.

Kawaii Monster Cafe

Sushi train with new pals

Pre-game cocktails at the Whiskey Library.  Lol this took us so long to find, but it was so worth it. 

Traditional Karoke. Of course, I'm singing Moana. We had so much fun we took an extra hour by accident. 

9. I got to be a boss in an awesome summer program and help new students learn to navigate college. Plus we went on some dope trips. Wildwood was awesome (an amusement park/boardwalk) in New Jersey.

10. I got a job in a study abroad office. This had been my goal for several years, and I was finally able to do so. It has been everything I thought it would be and more. I am lucky enough to have amazing coworkers and a wonderful boss. I also got a second job working with alumnae and students with another cool boss.

Thank you so much for reading this post. I am so infinitely grateful for your presence in my life and for your support. If you too feel like 2017 was a shitty year, or you just want to think of something positive, then I encourage you to reflect on ten amazing things that happened in 2017. I would love to hear about your highlights in the comments below. Thank you my loves! I will see you in 2018. 

Reflection and Visualization: Preparation for the New Year

Good Morning my loves,

It is the weekend of the new year, and I have one thing on my mind: Getting ready for 2018. I feel like 2018 is going to be a year of amazing changes, and I want to make sure that I am prepared for the new year. That's right, I'm coming at you with a new year, new me post (DON'T CLICK AWAY IN HORROR, I PROMISE IT'S NOT ONE OF THOSE).

I won't make this long, but I did come across something that inspired me to right this post and that is Nodus Tollens: "the realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore-- that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don't understand, that don't even seem to belong in the same genre..." Now is a great time to reflect both on 2017 but also your future. 

1. Is there something in your life that you feel unhappy with?
2. What went really well in 2017? What absolutely sucked?
3. Where do you want your life to go and what can you do now to get there?
4. Who do you want to be? Why? 
5. How will you start living like your ideal self?
6. What both scares and excites you? 
7. How can you make 2018 the best year?

I will be reflecting on these questions as well. I want to make sure that I enter 2018 with a clear mindset and a clear understanding of what I want. I also need to know what has not worked in the past, so that I can understand the lessons that I have learned in the past. The last thing that I want to do is keep learning the same lesson again and again (trust me life lessons can be harsh as hell). 

There are a lot of amazing things that I know are coming to me in 2018. Now I just need to get my energy to match that. 

ACCEPTING YOUR GREATNESS

Good Morning My Loves,

Happy Christmas Eve if you celebrate. If not, then happy Sunday. It is currently 8AM and I felt the need to post, but I'm not sure about what.

No, that's a lie. I do know what I want to post about. I can feel it in my bones that 2018 is a year of greatness and immense progress towards goals. There are so many amazing and scary things that I'm planning to do in 2018 that I sometimes find myself absolutely terrified and excited at the same time. I feel like I'm going full speed ahead towards a future that I worry that I don't know how to handle. Yet, when I sit in silence, I realize that I am more than ready and prepared to launch my empire. I am ready to welcome all of the abundance that will enter my life in 2018, and so are you.

I wanted to come on here and say to any other queen that your future is so bright! 2018 is a year of actualization for all of us, and I don't want you to be afraid. You are amazing. You are brave, you are incredible and this is your destiny.

I can't get rid of the fear for you, but one of the best things that I've ever heard is that fear and excitement feel the exact same way in the body. The difference is mind set. While it may be terrifying to take the throne of an empire that you are just building, it is time for us all to do so.

It feels very weird to have a post that's not 20 pages long, but that is genuinely all that I have to say. As always, please feel free to leave a comment if there is something you would like me to talk about in a post, and I would be happy to do so.

Alright my loves, get ready because it's time to put your crowns on.

Gaining Weight Post Weight Loss: Loving Yourself Where You Are At

'ello my Loves!

I hope that you are all having a fantubulous holiday season. And if none of your holidays are in December or you don't celebrate, then I hope you're having a fantastic December.

Please excuse your girl as she adjusts to her new job. I will still be posting, but as you can tell, I've given up on blogmas. Quality over quantity won. But, I shall still be posting two to three times a week so make sure to stay tuned.

Anyway, I'm coming at you today with a post about body positivity. More specifically, dealing with weight gain post weight loss. Now, I know that this blog is all about building your empire, but the heart of your empire is YOU! If you're not feeling confident in yourself, then it will be very hard to be confident in your dreams.

A little bit of background is that I used to be fifty pounds heavier before I dropped it all in the span of a year. Over the past four or so years, I have gained 20 pounds of it back and am now the heaviest I've been since I was eighteen. This is a terrible feeling that has contributed a lot to the anger and resentment that took over my life for a few weeks. Anyone who has lost weight and gained it back knows what it's like to literally feel every ounce of fat on your body as the weight of failure. But, I'm going to talk to you about how I have come to grips with my weight gain and love my body as it is.

First, I realized that shaming myself would only make me hate myself, not motivate me to lose weight.

Second, I accepted that what I was doing to maintain my weight loss and continue to lose weight was not working. My calorie count may be well below my maintenance level, but I've been at a deficit for so long that my body has adjusted. My diet also consists of 60-75 percent carb and minimal, fat, protein and micro nutrients. So, I reassessed and adjusted.

Third, I learned to be patient. I didn't gain weight in five minutes, so I'm not going to lose it in five minutes.

Finally, I learned to be grateful. While I may not be my ideal weight, my body is still capable of doing so many amazing things. I learned to focus on the good (I can see, I can listen to music, I can walk, I'm healthy, I can think and write and read and move and sleep well and digest food and I don't have allergies etc...) and not the bad (I'm heavier than I want to be). This last one is the most important piece of advice I could give you. Changing your perspective from a mindset of lack to one of gratitude will change your entire life.

As always, I hope that you enjoyed this post, and I can't wait to see you next time. By my loves

10 Ways To Get Out of a Negative State of Mind

Hello My Lovelies,

You may be wondering, where the hell have I been? Girl, I started a new job (yay!) but that's not why I've been gone. I started this blog as a source of positivity and to inspire other women to follow their dreams. I vowed to be honest, vulnerable and authentic with my audience. This blog is my heart and soul and as such is often a reflection of where I'm at in life. I am honest with you both with my joys and my failures because I want everyone to know that the path to success isn't always sunshine and rainbows. I want you to know that it's okay for you to feel your emotions like a person and that you don't have to be a robot of inspiration to achieve greatness.

That being said, I've found myself so lost in my feelings that I began to hate myself. I'm angry, resentful, stressed out, insecure and like I'm on the verge of a break down. All of my posts started to reflect that and I'm not trying to turn this blog into that, so I took a step back. I want this to be a positive space, and now I'm back!

Yes, that is a Halloween reference at Christmas time. Sorry, not sorry.

Now this post is more about what I'm doing to get out of my funk and focus more intently on the amazing things that are to come. For any other queen who is feeling lost as hell and overwhelmed by your emotions, this post is for you. I always preach that you need to let your feelings run their course, but I forgot that sometimes feelings can take over your whole life. I reached the point where sadness and anger became my whole life, and I've had enough. That bitch had her chance and now she's being greedy. 

So, without further ado, here are ten things that I do to bust myself out of this negative Nancy prison. 

1. Get grateful: For me a lot of my resentment and anger came from a place of stress. And I stressed because I could only focus on what I didn't have and trying to figure out how the hell to get it. Instead, I am choosing to focus on what I do have and be infinitely grateful for it. One way I do this is by writing down 10 things I'm grateful for every night. This helps to shift my perspective. 
2. Go to the gym: I gain weight very easily, which causes me to be terribly insecure and even angrier because my clothes don't fit. Going to the gym allows me to feel more in control of my body, plus it makes me feel really good (endorphin's). 
3. Play: Too much stress will kill your fucking vibe. If you feel like you're about to have a heart attack every single night, then it's time to play. By this I mean go do something new and exciting. Hang out with a friend, take a walk. Whatever it is going to take to get you out of your house and shaking up your routine.
4. Reconnect to things that make me happy: When you're caught up in the stress of being an adult, it's easy to focus on responsibilities and not on what makes you happy. I do more of what makes me happy so that I can be distracted from the stress and so that my life doesn't feel like one long as prison sentence with bills as the warden.
5. Journal about my vision: Caught up in my feelings, lost the dream. When it feels like I'm holding up the entire weight of the world, I sit down and write what I want out of life. I'm very detailed (Where do I live? What does my house look like? What does my day look like? Where do I eat? What do I wear etc...). If I don't remind myself of what I'm working towards, then it is too easy to get lost in trying to survive. 
6. Meditate on my feelings and allow them to pass: Simple, being numb does not serve my purpose. I think about what my feelings are trying to tell me and then I let that shit go.
7. Worry less: Worrying is a form of control. Me worrying about something and planning for the worst only causes me pain and does not make my problem go away. So, I focus on the good.
8. Get inspired (got a whole lot of posts about where I turn to when I need inspiration): Sometimes, you need to hear it from someone else. I find that no matter what I tell myself, I can't seem to shake it, so I listen to someone else and they shake it out for me. 
9. Laugh: It is the bets medicine. I watch comedy movies, stand up and read hilarious stories so that I can get a laugh. 
10. Develop a hobby: My entire life became worry, so I decided that I had too much damn free time on my hand. My hobbies are now painting, creating content and crafts. I'm always looking for new hobbies. 

That's it. That's everything I'm doing to lift myself out of this terrible mood. I hope that you find this helpful and let me know if you tried one of these tips. Now go forth into the New Year. 

NO MORE SAD SONGS! Walking into 2018 like

So, You think She's a Bitch (Cutting People Out of Your Life)

Ya'll, I've got to be honest and say that it's day ten of blogmas and I'm already dead.

But, I've set myself the challenge of not just posting everyday until Christmas, but posting content that I like everyday till Christmas, so onwards we go.

I spoke about heartbreak in an earlier post, and now I'm going to talk about heartbreak in the realm of friendship. One thing that I've found is that as I became more focused on my goals and determined to live my best life some people go away.

It is so important that people you surround yourself with are also going after their dreams or at the very least not resentful of you going after yours. So, what do you do when someone you've been friends with for years and is an integral part of your life no longer fits?

One size does not fit all, but I can tell you what I did and why it made such a difference in how I felt about myself and my dreams.

One, pinpoint what it is in that friendship that's not working. Do you feel upset that your friends not living up to their full potential? Do you feel like you're always trying to lift them up? Or is that they have become resentful of you? Something different? Whatever the reason the friendship isn't working anymore, you need to get clear otherwise you can't move forward with a clear mind.

Two, have an honest conversation with this person (if you're interested in preserving the friendship). Now that you know what's bothering you, if it's something that can be changed, then talk to the person. Let them know how you feel and what they are doing to make you feel that way. Maybe this person only ever comes to you when they want to gossip, or maybe they always have a snide comment. Speak honestly and know that this conversation may not save your friendship. Be prepared both to stay and to leave.

However, if what's bothering you is the persons personality or where they are in life, then you should know that it's not your job to push someone who's not ready to go after their dreams. It's exhausting for you, and annoying for the other person (trust me, I've been there). I get it. You want to see this person be the best version of themselves too and you can see all of the ways they hold themselves back, but it's not your place to fix them.

I had to let go of my absolute best friend because we no longer clicked. Our visions and energy did not align which caused a lot of friction. It's not easy to let go of someone who was important to you, but it's much harder to stay in a situation that uses up all of your energy. Sometimes you'll miss this person, but ultimately, you're clearing the way for new friends and dreams. Sometimes building an empire means cutting connections.

The takeaway is that people grow apart. On your path to greatness you will lose people and that is okay. She is not a bitch, and you are not a bitch for removing her from your life.

Thirteen Looks to Rock the Holidays (No Matter What You're Doing)

Hello my beautiful quarter life queens. I am back twice in one day because as you all know, yesterday took an L. Since today's post was a lot heavier, I thought I would do something lighter and more in tune with the holiday. Fashion, baby! Although I will not be purchasing anything anytime soon, some of you out there may be wondering what the heck you're going to wear this holiday season. 

So, I bring you holiday looks to reflect your badass queenly attitude. The following are all items that I personally love, but I tried to include as many different kinds of looks as possible. I love dressing up, but I want to emphasize that if you want to chill in your sweat pants this season, then rock it boo. 

Now onward with this post with no pictures (copyright infringement is hella real). Instead, I have given all the looks names. I hope saves you from having to scroll through sites for twenty years. 

You this holiday season: What's that? You think I look like an angel. 

Living your 80's Dreams

I Have Arrived

Be A Little Extra

Hitting the Club Like

Soft and Pretty

Senorita

Dark and Sexy

Bohemian Princess

Living Your Pretty Little Liars Fantasy

Stepford Wife

I Have Graced You With My Presence

Let's Dance

Can We Wrap This Up? Free drinks end at midnight

Ending 2017 like:

Feeling Like You're Drowning

Hello My Lovelies,

I hope you're all doing well on this wonderful day. It is snowing here in the northeast region, and I am sitting at my desk curled up in a soft blue blanket contemplating life. This post is going to be a combo of sad and inspiring (I hope), so prepare yourselves. As you all know, I think it's so important that I'm one hundred percent honest with you. Not just because I'm naturally open, but because as a lover of self-help materials, one thing I wish I saw more of is people struggling.

The book, or the podcast, or the video comes to us after this person has mastered their life and achieved success (or so it seems). This is incredible and inspiring, but on those days that I feel like shit and am resentful, I wish I could read content about someone else who is going through the same thing so I don't feel like such a failure when I'm not kittens and rainbows all the time.

Sometimes life just fucking sucks and that does not mean that you are ungrateful or that the universe will snub you because your heart is broken. After all:

I start my second job this Monday. After months of looking, I am finally full time employed, although not in the traditional way. I am overjoyed, but my happiness is being eclipsed by the reality of being an adult. I worry heavily about how I'm going to pay for things. My student loans, my rent, how I'm going to eat, how I'm going to get to work all sink me. 

I look around at what I have and am infinitely grateful but also resentful because I think: how could this be me? I worked so hard so I would not have to struggle and yet I find myself here. I crunch numbers again and again and each time a little piece of my heart shatters. 

But, I keep moving. I have been a control freak for my entire life and I need to accept that somethings are out of my control. No matter how much I cry about it, I know in my soul that I am where I am meant to be. I believe in a kind universe and I know that everything will work out in my best interest. So, as hard as it is, I try not to worry, but still I can feel the sharp stabs of despair in my heart. 

And that is okay. All of my emotions have a purpose in my life. It is okay if I allow myself to feel sad and wallow. It is okay if you feel sad. It is okay for you to be depressed and angry. After nearly two decades of repressing my emotions, I know how important it is to let them run their course and let them go. Trust me, if you don't they always come back until one day you are completely shattered. 

If you're at the point in your life where you feel out of control. You feel abandoned and lost and maybe you come home and cry and stuff your face with donuts because who cares what you look like your life is over, then I hope that this post helps you. I hope that this blog helps you see that you are a queen always even if sometimes you are a very sad one. 

None of us are without our struggles (regardless of what it seems like), but remember your struggles do not define you and do not determine your worth. Stay strong.

So People Think You're a Bitch

Hello my lovely readers! Can I just say that your girl has been on this thing where she hasn't drank in hard liquor in a few weeks. I drank tequila a while back ago and felt like such utter shit that I was like I'm never drinking again. It seriously triggered my anxiety and depression.

Well, I'm proud to say that I've stuck to that no drinking thing because I adjusted my initial statement to "I will never drink clear liquor ever again". So, I tried to go to the liquor store to pick up some wine only to realize that I forgot my ID when I was all the way down there. I took that as a sign from the universe that I was not meant to drink tonight.

Anyway my lovelies, I wanted to continue on my trend of talking about other people's perceptions of you. Particularly those of us who are more assertive and no nonsense because jeez, no one likes being called a bitch. Now, let me be clear and say that no one has called me a bitch in a while, but I know that this is something that assertive women face. You state your own opinion or demand the best and suddenly you're a bitch.

Listen, I'm going to keep it short and say that others opinions don't matter. Going after your dreams can make others resentful. Demanding what you want may get you called a bitch, but oh well. There is nothing wrong with being assertive. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want and being no nonsense about it. Others may try to get you to be softer, but as long as you're not going around purposely making people feel like shit, then it doesn't matter.

I tell you this because at one point I started believing that I was a bitch and that didn't do anything for me. I tell you this so that you can know what I know now.

You are a boss, you are a queen and you are running an empire. Don't let anyone tear you down and don't start calling yourself a bitch because others see you like that. Jen Sincero once said that the world is full of billions of mirrors. Whatever someone doesn't like about you is just a reflection of what they don't like about themselves.

So go on with your bad and boujee self and take zero shit from anyone.

Why My Blogmas Has Nothing To Do With Christmas

Okay, it's blogmas whatever day this is, and I'm sure by now you've noticed that I'm not following the usual blogmas format. Although I am posting everyday, I'm not following the Christmas/cheery holiday format. I know and it's on purpose!

This blog is absolutely not about negativity, but I must be honest and say that Christmas is not my favorite holiday. I love the holiday, but I'm not one of those people that plays holiday music all month long. I'm not all rosy cheeked and decking the halls with joy.

The rest of the world v Me

In this picture, I am definitely the grinch, although I'm not out here trying to kill anyone's Christmas mood. The whole point is that I'm not following the traditional format because I don't have enough Christmas spirit to do it.

I'm doing blogmas because I love the challenge and I like the idea of putting new content into the world everyday. So for the most part, these blogmas posts will have nothing to do with the holidays except for one or two posts. Hopefully you find that refreshing and not depressing.

And that's okay! Let the world relish in their holiday joy and relish in your own joy. This blog is all about being yourself and following your dreams. Well, this is me. I shall unapologetically continue to be my non-Christmas obsessed self. And if you don't like Christmas, then girl do you!

Now New Years though

TURN UP!

Bye my loves. See ya tomorrow

All or Nothing: Are You too Rigid?

Hello my lovely readers! How are ya'll doing on this wonderful blogmas day. Not even going to lie: I have no idea what blogmas day this is. My apologies for missing yesterdays blogmas. Your girl is putting in hella overtime this week and didn't get home till 9:10 where she promptly knocked out. I'm sorry!

I'll do better! So, today I want to talk to you about something that I'm not sure I know the answer to. I've been told that I have a very black and white attitude. In my mind it either is or it isn't. You do or you do not. I have worked at understanding that the world is more nuanced than that, but there are certain parts of my life where I still have an all or nothing attitude. 

Are any of you the same way? Do you see it as a good thing or a bad thing. Some people see my view as a negative thing, while others see it as qualities of a boss. I feel like I'm trapped somewhere in the middle. I love that I have this attitude because it means that I hold myself to very high standards. I can be honest with myself and say if I didn't do something it's because I didn't want to. It also means that I'm not willing to settle for less than what I will happily take.

At the same time, is it ungrateful to say like thanks for the offer, but no? Is it bad to be so rigid with some parts of your life? 

For me, the answer is no. Yes, be flexible and trust your gut, but don't compromise your happiness and vision because you think your standards are too high (or worse because others tell you your standards are too high).  

The takeaway is that it is okay to have an all or nothing attitude when it comes to your dreams. Be rigid in your goals but flexible in your methods. 

As always, I hope that you enjoyed this! Also, I have a plan for what I will upload during blogmas, but if there is anything you want me to write about please let me know in the comments or on one of my social media platforms. I would be happy to make a post about what you want to read.

Lots of love,

Sharlene

Vulnerability: My Battle with Depression

The following is an excerpt of something I wrote to myself. It is deeply personal, but so important to share. While I am usually a positive person, this is a part of my life. I don't want anyone out there to think that they have to be this perfect, happy person 24/7 to be successful. I want you to know that it is okay to be vulnerable and to feel pain by being vulnerable and sharing my pain.

My vibration is low. I’m feeling lost, overwhelmed, resentful and victimized. This belief comes from the idea that I’m not good enough. That people don’t see my worth no matter how hard I try (a core fear that was rooted in childhood. I hate feeling undervalued). That i’ll always have to work twice as hard to get half as far because of my race, background and gender. That the world is slanted against me and I should just die. I can feel depression creeping into my life, and to be truthful I have spent my entire life running from depression.

When I first started to feel happy after being depressed for years, I had this anxiety about becoming depressed again. I described this fear as being at the mouth of a dark hole desperately trying to cling to surface, but I can feel myself getting pulled in deeper so I dig my nails into the concrete until my fingers bleed. Truthfully, I have felt like this many times and this is still my number one fear. I’m terrified to go back to that part of my life. I’m scared that I’ll give into the depression and spend more years of my life wishing I was dead.

This has always been my greatest weakness.I don’t know why I keep getting surprised when these negative feelings keep resurfacing. I keep pushing them away. I say positive vibes only, but sometimes I feel like shit. I feel stupid, worthless, fat, unlovable, naive and just like trash. I need to face these feelings and I need to face my depression otherwise they’ll keep interfering with my goals and my vibration.

It’s time to be honest with myself. I still struggle with bouts of depression. Sometimes my vibration isn't high. Sometimes I doubt myself. Sometimes I think of suicide, yet this is not who I am. My feelings are not a reflection of who I am, but they are a sign.

I’ve always believed in faking it till you make it. Well it’s time to stop faking it and put in the work to grow as a person by facing what I’ve been running away from: the emotions I don't like.

So, I say pause to everything that is going on around me because I need to work on me. I’m still going after my dreams, nothing has changed in that regard, but I’m resetting myself so that my energy matches my desires.

I have been working on this for over a month, and I have to say that I feel a million times better. I still have my moments when I feel like this, but being honest and vulnerable with myself has made facing my demons just a little bit easier. Accepting and repressing my emotions has made all the difference.

Honesty: My Struggles and Why I'm Not Worried

"I done did everything except worry"- Big Sean

Hi y'all and welcome to day two of blogmas! I have to say my holiday cheer is going up, and I am so damn excited for 2018. Today, I want to practice what I preach and that is honesty with my audience.

I don't even know who reads this blog, but I just have to say that I love you all so much. And I mean that genuinely. I love you, and I know that you can do whatever you set your mind to.

Now, enough of the cheesiness. It's time for some honesty. So, I've been employed part-time for almost two months and it has been absolutely amazing. I feel like I have accomplished so much in these two months and I am grateful everyday that I have an amazing boss.

However, your girl still has full time bills. I struggled so hard to pay my rent for a while. I cried and cried because it felt like I couldn't do anything right. I had applied to over a hundred jobs at that point and I was throwing myself a pity party. Y'all know that I saw the light and saw my struggle for what it was: a redirection.

Now, here I am in December and I am up for a position that is everything that I wanted from a job. It is part time as well, but two part time jobs make a full time.

But, the title of this blog is honesty, and I have to tell you that I'm missing two thirds of my rent and that shit is overdue. I have to be honest and tell you that I get paid hourly and come January, I may be short again because colleges are closed during the holiday break and I won't be getting paid.

This is my current situation and now I'm going to tell you why I'm not worried.

1. I am one thousand percent certain that I am meant for greatness
2. I don't let my circumstances dictate how I feel about myself and what I can do
3. I know that everything will work out as it is meant to
4. I believe in a kind and giving universe. Everything that happens will only push me towards my end goal
5. This isn't the end of the world. I always remember that

I hope that my honesty helps out any other girl out there who's trying to build her empire but feels like she's crumbling under the weight of her circumstances. You are a queen regardless of what is happening to you, and I want you to know that always. 

And it the words of another queen, Laura Lee: Keep it moving. 

Lots of love always and remember, you know how to bounce back. 

Gifts (NOT STATIONERY) for the Badass Queen in Your life

What? No, this isn't just a list of stuff that I want. 

Haha, no, but in all seriousness, I got really tired of seeing the same things repeated over and over in gift guides. Just because she's a badass doesn't mean she wants stationary and a watch all fucking day.  So, this is for that one friend in your life who is a total badass and seems to have it all. I tried to incorporate as many different things as possible. Hopefully, you find something that you think is perfect. I'm sorry for the no pictures y'all! Copy right is real, and I respect that. 

Brush Holder

To Remind Her that She is Loved Always

To Remind her to Relax

For the Chef who hates to clean

The Best Eye Shadow Palette in the World

Plus Some Brushes to go with it

A Book To Feed Her Soul

For the Crafty Friend You're Willing to Splurge on

For all of those "business" trips

Getting In Touch with Your Intuition: Eliminating the Maybes, So You Can Go After What You Really Want

Earlier I wrote a post about struggling with distinguishing between the voices of my ego, my mind and my intuition. You may be asking yourself what's the difference? Well, you're in luck because I'm going to explain it as I see it. The difference is quite simple. The ego and the mind have been heavily biased by life and have learned to be afraid. The intuition knows, is calm and always speaks to help you achieve your highest potential. That's it.

Well,  I've decided to kick-off this blogmas (I know, am I crazy?) by talking to you about something I learned on the Lively show podcast: how to get in touch with your intuition. One of the most powerful lessons for me was that so often your ego and mind are shouting so loudly that you can't hear your intuition (even though it is always speaking to you).

So, how the heck do you drown out all of that other noise and speak to your intuition? First, I want you to empty your mind

Great, now think clearly about what is that you're struggling with. Really think about it and allow it to occupy space in your mind. While this can sometimes be painful, it's important that it's occupying all of your thoughts so you don't get mixed signals.

Once you feel at least kind of centered, begin to ask yourself questions. I was amazed by how simple and effective this was for me. Your intuition speaks calmly, so the first answer that comes into your head that is spoken calmly (important because if it's yelling that you're a dumbass that ain't your intuition) is your answer. And the best part is that the answer never changes! That's right, no matter how desperate or sad you're feeling the answer will still be the same.

I can't describe how insightful doing this has been for me. Not only has it given more confidence in knowing what I want and what I am capable of, it has allowed me to learn to let go because I no longer see a trillion maybes in front of me.

I highly recommend that you try this out if you too feel like you're being pulled in a million directions. I also recommend that you check out the Lively Show (podcast) if you're looking for some calm guidance on the path to your empire.

And as it is blogmas, I shall see you all tomorrow.