There is No Such Thing as The Right Decision

 

Hello My Beautiful Queen,

Welcome to the third week of January. Not that time really matters here, but you get the point. I have been deep in my own spiritual journey which is to say that I hit my upper limit and I am digging through the dredges of my shadow. Because the thing about choosing to be the creator of your reality is also acknowledging that you must take responsibility for your own internal world and how your subconscious mind may be influencing your external one. For example, if your desire and intention is to build a youtube channel, but subconsciously you don't believe that you are the kind of person that people gravitate towards, then you are going to encounter some issues in your reality.

The same is true if you do not trust your decisions. Queen, building anything will require you to make decisions. Manifestation requires you to make decisions about what you want. But if deep down you believe that you do not know how to support yourself or you doubt that you know what you want, then you are going to struggle with it in your reality because this is what you believe. If you don't believe you can make decisions that support you, then you will struggle because you will doubt every decision that you make and whether or no they are truly supporting you in getting closer to your dreams.

The thing is that you are never going to know if the decisions that you make are the right ones. You are not going to know if it is moving you closer to your goals. You are not going to know what the outcome is. But I can for sure tell you that if you do not make any decision at all, then you will stay exactly where you are. So many people get caught in this story of I don't know where to start.

In my journey I have studied countless entrepreneurs and had the opportunity to interview many of them on my podcast. Let me tell you that no one knew where to start, they just started. Part of that is developing your connection with your intuition and yourself. Having that faith that you are supported in your journey and that you will always make the best decisions you can with the information that you have. The other part of that is just curiosity and determination to make it happen.

You are not going to know where your decisions will lead you. But you must be willing to start somewhere. You must move in faith that what you want is meant for you and you have everything you need to make it happen if you can just convince yourself to start. And if you have no freaking idea how to develop that kind of self-belief, I recommend that you start with a coach or some kind of guide.

If you don't start you are pandering to your ego and allowing decision paralysis to completely destroy your dreams. Queen, your dreams don't deserve that. When we refuse to start it can be easy to justify why we don't. We say things like I don't have the money (you can start a business for free. If it's product based, then you can build an audience and a brand identity for free to get started), or that we don't know where to start. But in my experience as a coach and in my own life, fear is the root of this hesitation, no matter what story it is telling you. 

So you have to ask yourself, what is this really about? What am I afraid of? What do I not want to have confirmed (that is a huge one). Take a moment and ask yourself what is one thing I can do right now to get started?

Much Love Always,

Shar

On Feeling Like You Don't Belong

 

Hello My Beautiful Queen,

This weekend I posted something about it being darkest in the dark on IG.  If you are not new to the QLQ world then you will know that as part of soul expansion, you will encounter challenges and difficulties in your life. Situations that will leave you breathless, overwhelmed and with no idea about how to move forward. I teach manifestation, but allow me to remind you that manifestation cannot explain everything. Take it from me, please do not shame yourself or blame yourself for what happens in your life by believing that you have manifested every single experience. Not everything that happens in your life is about what you did or some limiting belief.

For example, you could be trying to grow a youtube channel right now, and maybe you are finding it hard. Please know that while you may have some subconscious resistance, it could just be hard right now. You are building the foundation. Or if you run a service based business and someone has just said no to what you offer. It can be so tempting to think that your energy was off, or you just weren't aligned or maybe you didn't sell well. Otherwise it would have manifested for you, right? Wrong. Sometimes it is about the other person and their circumstances and like it or not, we cannot impose our will on others. The right people will always find you and while you might think they are the right person, maybe the timing is wrong. In manifestation, your only job is to know what you want and stay open to receiving it. Which also means staying open to the possibility that it will come to you some other way that you just do not see yet.

The point is that sometimes on our journeys to birth our dreams into reality, we are not always going to know what to do. Nor will we have constant confirmation that following our intuition and doing the inner healing and using the strategy is going to work. In fact, sometimes it is going to feel like it is doing anything but working. Most often when we are in our demon time (to quote Beyonce here) and we are comparing ourselves to everyone else in the space and feeling like we don't belong. Especially if you are a woman of color in a space that is dominated by white women.

In those moments, it can be so easy to just want to give up. To feel like nothing we want is ever going to happen as quickly as we would like or as easily as it happens for our white peers. To be raw and honest and so vulnerable with you, I studied racism, classism and sexism in K-12 education in America. And girl, how could I not feel this way when I have been taught like so many others that I am just innately inadequate? Give yourself some grace, love, there is some deep shit for you to unpack and heal that will just take a bit more time. Comparison is the thief of joy. In those moments when I feel like I have to work 10 times as hard as any white woman just to be noticed, I remind myself to look inward. I remind myself that part of my healing is to remove the conditioning and training that has led me to believe that my life does not get to be easy.

I also remind myself that my only regret would be to give up. It's okay if you have to detach from the outcome. It is okay if you need to stop thinking about your manifestations and goals for a while. In fact, it is often encouraged because when we are so desperate for the result, we send out mixed signals about what we want (based on what we are focusing on), which then slows down our manifestations. Sometimes the best thing to do is just to stop thinking about it. Which doesn't mean that you have given up, only that you are surrendering the desperate need to control. I remind myself that if a gave up, a year from now I would regret all of the progress I could have made in that time.

Sometimes your journey just requires faith. Faith and surrender and the knowing that no matter how hard and impossible it feels right now, you WILL get there. In the meantime, I encourage you to find a community and sisterhood of people who will help you know that your success is inevitable. A community can be as small as one other person who is cheering you on and guiding you on your path. Whoever that is, I encourage you to stay open to receiving them.

Much Love, Always,

Shar

When Do You Know That You Are Your Best Self?

Hello Queen,

I recorded a podcast episode recently about how being your best self is a choice that you make everyday. In today’s post, I want to go a little bit deeper.

If you are also on a spiritual expansion journey (which let’s face it. You are reading this blog post, so you are), then you will know the yo-yo frustration. The frustration of achieving your dreams, but then not being able to replicate the same result. Of feeling like your best-self and like nothing can stop you, then feeling like shit and doubting if you even know how the fuck to build a thriving business. Of feeling fearless, then only feeling doubt.

The fear of success is very real for me, as much as I wish it wasn’t. So I am all too familiar with that yo-yo. But as I moved through my journey, I found an odd kind of duality.

Like I was able to completely access my inner goddess, but also felt incredibly human. Like I was powerful and strong and exactly where I needed to be but also feeling frustrated with where I am not. It’s a bizarre gray area, but now that I am in it, I feel like this is a higher expression of myself. Because I preach to you all that even the absolute best version of you who has everything they want still has their doubts, fears and off days. They are not where they are because they don’t have any limiting beliefs, they are where they are because they don’t have limiting beliefs around what they currently have.

There is a version of you out there making 6 figures who is doubting that she can make a million. There is a version of you out there, in her dream body, wondering if she really has what it takes to do a triathlon or run a marathon. There is a version of you out there making millions of dollars wondering if she is really capable of running that real estate empire, or launching a new brand, or whatever it is. It doesn’t matter. The point is that we are always striving towards something.

I teach so much more about this in Connected, but what I will say is that your desires are part  of your expansion and what you must overcome to manifest those desires into your reality is how you will come to know yourself better and love yourself on a deeper level. You are the universe and your desire in this human incarnation is still to expand. Just to expand on a soul level. 

So, yes. I am in this gray area. Not exactly half-risen, but more content in my duality. More aware that as human beings we embody both essences. Maybe instead of spending so much energy trying to banish all of our limiting beliefs, we can focus on our expansion and allow ourselves to become more comfortable with the discomfort.

Much Love, Always,

Shar